Their Forbidden Love
by azkabangirl
Summary: Ginny and Draco had an affair behind everybody’s back. They hardly knew what they were doing themselves, until they found themselves heading head first into something neither of them could control.
1. the romance that ended

-1**A/N: Hey guys! So this is my first fanfic, and I hope you like it. Even though the title is Dirty Dancing, there isn't as much dancing as everyone would like. So far the plot is just coming out and you get to read a bit about our two lovers past. R&R!**

**I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. The only thing that belongs to me..my love for Draco. **

Ginny stood alone in her dimly lit bedroom, staring down into her open trunk. Tomorrow morning she would be leaving for her 6th year at Hogwarts. She was nervous about returning because she didn't know what to expect, especially after last year. So many things had happened during the summer, the defeat of Voldemort for one. Everyone thought that they could finally be able to get back to their lives, but Ginny knew that after what had happened to her at the end of last year, she could never return back to the way she was.

Draco boarded the Hogwarts Express without looking back. His world had turned upside down over the summer and he was only returning to Hogwarts for his last year because his mother had wanted him to complete his education. Dumbledore's death was a major blow to Draco and before he knew it he had been cast away to Voldemort's side as one of his Death Eaters.

When he had managed to escape, he had had to live through his father's death, the court hearings, the brief stay in Azkaban, the public apology and finally his mother's death. With no one to help him up, he attempted suicide which resulted in a housekeeper finding him in a pool of his own blood. So here he was, trying to put his life back together, piece by piece. If only he hadn't let her go.

_Flashback _

"_Hush, Im here. I wont leave you, you know that. Hush now, just let me take away the pain." _

"_If you could take away the pain, you could lift the world onto your shoulders." _

_She smiled as she pulled him toward her and blew out the candle illuminating his features._

_End of Flashback_

Ginny walked down the train's aisle, heading back to her compartment. It had been awkward between her and Harry when they had seen each other, but mostly for Harry. He didn't know the real reason why Ginny was suddenly uncomfortable around him. Ginny could tell that he wanted to talk, to make things like they were last year. But she had moved on, with someone she could never bring out in the open. What would her family think when she declined Harry? After all, she had seemed so devastated when he had called it off. But for completely different reasons.

As Ginny continued to make her way back, a compartment door opened and Draco Malfoy walked out. He stopped at the sight of her, and stood motionless. Ginny's mind worked furiously, her heart beat 10 times faster then normal. Draco moved closer, and Ginny froze. Could this be possible? Why was she getting so nervous, it was over wasn't it? Draco now stood directly in front of her, close enough that she could smell his cologne, a scent she had become so familiar with.

"Im sorry," he whispered. Ginny looked up into his grey blue eyes and felt tears sting her eyes. Draco sidestepped her and walked back to his compartment without a backward glance.

Ginny sunk to the floor, and pulled her knees to her chest. She felt like he had abandoned her all over again.

_Flashback_

"_We have to break it off. I cant pretend any longer." Draco stood in front of Ginny with a cold look on his face. A look Ginny had not seen in a very long time. _

"_How could you do this to me?" Ginny asked in a strangled voice. Draco looked away. "No, look at me! After all we've been through, after all I risked, this is it? You're just breaking it off? Well you better listen to me Draco Malfoy, because I will not give up on you that easily. You know me better then that. We can get through this, I can fight by your side!" _

"_Ginny, this isn't easy okay?" Draco looked back with fire in his eyes. "Do you think that I want to leave you? Do you think that I want to see you and Harry get closer? Im doing this for you. Im doing this because I cant hide anymore. He wants me, do you understand that? We cant blow our cover, you know that. And its too painful to keep this up, especially now that you'd be in serious danger if we did. This was wrong from the start"_

"_Don't say that," Ginny whispered. "I love you. I know now that I always will. I don't know what you did to me, but I cant just put this all behind me, its not that easy."_

"_We have to try. Forget me Ginny. I was nothing to you. These last few weeks didn't exist. I hate you and you hate me, understand? Let me go."_

_With that, Draco left Ginny standing alone in the Quidditch Pitch to cry in the rain. He didn't look at her for the next couple of days and when that fateful night came when Dumbledore had died, Ginny had only had a fleeting glance of Draco's horror stricken face before Snape had ushered Draco out of her life, forever. _

_End of Flashback_

**A/N**

**Reviews are the highlight of my day. Cheers, Kamal**


	2. one look says it all

**A/N: Hey guys! Okay so I know I haven't updated this for AGES. To tell you the truth, I had kind of given up on the story! But, well I couldn't leave our Ginny/Draco fans hanging so I've decided to continue the story. Hope you like the chapter, more will be up soon if I get some reviews!!**

**I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. The only thing that belongs to me..my love for Draco. **

Draco's breath caught in his chest as soon as he had stepped back into his compartment. That had been the first time he had seen her for over 2 months. After all of the pain he had had to endure, seeing Ginny again had been like a knife stabbing into his heart. Why had he ever let her go?

He fought against his mind and his feelings. He loved her, he knew that. But after what he had said to her, would she still love him back? What if she didn't and really had just put it all behind her? How could he expect her to just give everything up for him all over again when he knew he had lost her trust.

He knew now that there was no way it could ever work again. They had gotten lucky last year, because everyone had been so caught up with Voldemort. That wouldn't happen again this year, Harry was sure to make his move.

"I'll have to give her up," Draco said quietly to himself. "I never deserved her anyway. She's too good for someone like me, who has nothing left to offer."

When the reality finally hit him that he might never win Ginny back, Draco slouched to a seat and dreamt that he was falling fast, fast and hard and that there was no one left to catch him.

When the train finally screeched to a halt, Ginny ran to the door. She couldn't look at Harry any more. The whole ride he had tried to engage her into conversation and find out "what was wrong".

As she was roughly thrown out of the way by students fighting to get off the train, she remembered the last time she had really talked to Harry. It had been at Dumbledore's funeral, when he had tried to explain to her why they couldn't be together. Ginny's heart had been broken, but it wasn't because of Harry. Draco had left her, so that maybe she could be with Harry, be safe with him and start a new life. He had wanted her to be happy, to forget about him, and now Harry didn't even want to be with her? For the last month she had obeyed Draco, and tried to rid him of her mind. She had tried in vain to move on with Harry and forget about him altogether. Now what was she left with? She was alone all over again.

As the painful memory came back to her, she stepped out into the cool night air. She took a deep breath and tried to rid the tears starting to sting at her eyes. Walking to the carriages, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

Ginny spun around, wishing wildly that it was Draco. But instead she looked into the eyes of Hermione Granger. "Gin, are you alright? Something's wrong, I know it. " "I'm fine Hermione, really. Lets just make it to a carriage before they're all full. "

Even before the words had left her mouth, she saw Draco climbing into the nearest carriage. The back of his robe caught and he turned around to unhook it from a nail sticking out of the step. As he turned, his eyes turned upward and held Ginny's for a moment. Ginny involuntarily gasped and Draco quickly looked away.


	3. amidst the slytherins

**A/N: Woot Woot! Two chapters in one day!! Okay guys, now that I'm back into the spirit of writing and have posted again to satisfy you all, hopefully I'll get some more people reading the story. Don't worry, after this chapter, things start speeding up just a bit. Again, don't forget to review please!**

**I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. The only thing that belongs to me, my love for Draco. **

Before Hermione could ask what was wrong, Ginny was tugging her toward Draco's carriage. _I won't be hurt again_, she thought to herself indignantly. _Who does he think he is, breaking my heart and then tearing it open again? Well, I won't let him. Not this time. I'm stronger then that and he knows it. If he thinks that I'll just avoid him all year to try and forget what happened, well then he should think again. _

Draco desperately tried to hide the shocked look he knew was on his face when Ginny and Hermione clambered into the Slytherin filled carriage. "Ginny," Hermione whispered angrily, "what are we doing in here?" Ginny didn't answer, just gave her a knowing look that told Hermione that the youngest Weasley was up to something, she just didn't know what.

Pansy Parkinson was the first to speak. Everyone else just seemed too shocked that the Gryffindor girls would dare enter their carriage. "And what do you think you're doing here?" she sneered. If Hermione had had an answer, she might have said something. But aside from the uncomfortable position that she was in, she almost laughed at how Pansy's face significantly resembled a warthog from that close up.

"In case you haven't noticed, this is a Mudblood and Blood Traitors free zone. As if we want your filth hanging around. Go back to your shack Weasley and take that slime with you." The Slytherins around them laughed and sneered.

But Ginny sought only Draco. He looked at her hard and the question in his eyes was unmistakable. _What are you trying to gain? _Those icy gray eyes that Ginny knew so well were boring into her own. She could hear Hermione shouting insults at the Slytherins while tugging on Ginny's arm. Ginny continued to stare at Draco and he understood her message perfectly. _We need to talk. _He gave a slight inclination of his head to show her that he understood and she immediately clambered back out through the doorway.

With the sneers and shouts of laughter following them, Hermione turned to Ginny angrily. "Ginny, what the hell were you thinking? Dragging us in there, making us look like fools! That was the most embarrassing moment I've ever had! And what were you doing, having a staring match with Malfoy?!" Hermione turned to Ginny and looked at her friend, breathing heavily.

Ginny looked back at her with tears in her eyes and Hermione knew there was something wrong. She'd hit a nerve. Could Malfoy have been the reason why Ginny had dragged her into the carriage? "I'm sorry I put you through that Hermione," Ginny looked down at her feet as she talked, before the tears started streaming down. "I don't know what got into me."

Hermione knew it was a lie, but let it go. Whatever had happened between her and Malfoy, Ginny would tell her in good time. "Its okay Gin. Come on, lets get to Harry and Ron, they're probably wondering what happened to us."


	4. how it all started

Sitting across the great hall from her, Draco wondered how he had gotten himself into this situation. The Prince of Slytherin, romantically involved with the Gryffindor Weasel's little sister? If you had told him that this was what was going to happen 5 years ago, he probably would have hit you.

But watching her sitting at the Gryffindor table, in the middle of a group of friends, hardly picking at her food with a sullen expression on her face, Draco felt a pang of guilt hit him. It was because of him that this vibrant, happy, wonderful girl was acting so miserable on her first day back to school.

Looking back down at his plate and hearing the dull conversation of the students around him, he remembered how it had all started.

……………………………….

_Walking out of the Slytherin common room, Draco seethed and could hardly walk straight because of the anger he was feeling. How dare Lucius…how could he even…? ARGH. It was fine when he took out his anger on his son, but on Narcissa? _

_She had sent him a letter that night, telling him of what had happened. How Lucius had come home late one night so angry that he had taken it out on her. She had been severely beaten but written to Draco to tell him that he shouldn't worry. And that he shouldn't confront his father about it, because that would only make matters worse._

_As the letter swam into Draco's focus, he could hear his mother's screams and pleas. He could almost see her tears falling onto the paper as she wrote the letter to her son. His anger subsided into sadness. All those horrible memories of his father's tantrums from when he was a child came flooding back to him and he couldn't take it anymore. He ran, full pelt, not knowing where he was going. _

_From across the corridor, Ginny Weasley could see Malfoy struggle to stay upright and then break out into a run. Out of her own curiosity, she stopped to see what was wrong instead of continuing to make her way down to the kitchen. But when he started running toward her and didn't stop, Ginny was too surprised to move. A second later, the wind was knocked out of her and she was lying on her back on the cold stone floor._

_Draco was in shock. He had just collided with something hard and now he was feeling pain. Pain was never good. _

_He looked up to see a shock of red and instantly recoiled. A Weasley. But then he noticed that the Weasley was of the female sort and moaning in pain. Without thinking, he helped her up and watched as she brushed herself up. _

"_What the hell? You moron, can't you watch where you're going? Oh…" She faltered. She knew who it was but instead of the normal contempt she usually saw in those cold blue gray eyes, she saw something else. A look in his eyes that she only knew too well. He was hurt, and trying to get away from it. He didn't make any move to hurt or insult her so Ginny did the only thing she knew to comfort someone hurt. She put her arms around him._

_He was tense at first, probably in shock by her actions, but he slowly loosened up and eased into her embrace. He buried his head into her hair and just cherished the feeling of being touched so lovingly by someone he hardly knew. She whispered words of comfort into his ear and stroked his hair. She could hear the sounds of his muffled sobs and could feel the tears falling onto her neck. _

_When he finally pulled away, his face was tear streaked but he quickly wiped them away. His face flushed but Ginny slowly reached up to move a strand of his hair that had stuck to his wet eyelashes away to show that she wasn't going anywhere. She let her hand stay on his cheek and watched for his reaction._

_She didn't know what she was doing, but she liked the feeling of being able to be there for someone. To hold him in her arms and, even for a little bit, ease whatever pain he was feeling. She didn't know why he was so distraught but she felt compelled to comfort him in any way she could. Silently, she led him away to the only room she knew of where they could be together. She led him away to the Room of Requirement. _

………………………………

Draco relished the memory of how she had stayed with him that night. She had held him and just let him cry. She hadn't asked any questions, just stroked his hair and held him until he had fallen asleep. In the morning, Draco had awakened to an empty single bed in the Room of Requirement with a note left on the dresser.

_Draco, I don't know what happened last night. But I'm here if you want to talk about it. _

_Ginny_

He still remembered the look of surprise on her face when he had walked into the Room of Requirement again that night. As he walked up to her, she stood from the armchair she had been sitting on and held out her arms.

"_I'm glad you came."_


	5. making up

AN/: Hey guys ! Yes, so I'm finally back into the spirit of writing and updating more regularly. Hope you guys enjoy!! Thanks for the reviews so far, but Id love to get some more. Tell me what you think and how you like the way the story's going so far!

Disclaimer: I own nothing..except my love for Draco.

"I'm glad you came."

Draco mentally blanched. He had walked into the Room of Requirement after being caught sneaking out of his common room by none other then Professor McGonagall and scolded for getting in trouble on the first day back. But seeing Ginny there in front of him, saying the words that had started it all, made it all worth it.

"I wasn't going to walk away again."

Ginny barely suppressed a scoff. She was _not _in a very good mood with Draco, no matter how gorgeous he looked tonight (she mentally slapped herself for thinking about him that way) and when a Weasley is mad, you better watch out. And right now, poor Draco was on her bad side.

"That didn't stop you last time." Draco made a move to protest but Ginny stopped him with an icy glare. "I don't…I just can't do this anymore Draco. I can't _pine_ over you anymore. I'm sick of it. But I can't forget about you either and I don't know what to do anymore. Be miserable all year or just get this all out and move on with my life."

Draco sighed. Now he remembered how hard it was to speak to Ginny when she was mad. Tonight was no exception. He took a tentative step toward her and when she didn't move away, he gained back some of his confidence.

"What I said, what I did Ginny, it was all for you. You have to believe that. I love you and I realized that that will never change. You're not just some girl for me Gin, you helped me through one of the worst stages in my life. I'm not about to just forget that. Whatever you decide, if you want to keep this up or not, I'm here either way and I'll support your decision. We can move on like nothing happened, or…" he paused and looked into her eyes searching for something, anything that said she cared about what he was saying. He saw a small hint of her giving in and continued, "Or we can be together, like we both wanted."

She said nothing. She did nothing. Draco could see that she was considering what he had said. His small flame of hope and passion for her grew as he watched her. Black tank top, blue pyjama bottoms, red hair falling loosely around her shoulders. Her brown eyes sought his own cold gray ones and searched for confirmation that they could actually be together.

The next thing he knew, a sobbing Ginny was crying in his arms. How ironic that this time, their positions were reversed. She cried until she could cry no more. Whether they were tears of joy or sorrow, Draco figured they were a mix of both. To him, nothing mattered anymore. Nothing mattered except for the fact that the love of his life was in his arms once again.

And this time, he promised himself, I won't let her go.

When Ginny finally pulled away, her eyes once again locked onto his. Draco's own lust and loneliness overpowered him and he slowly leaned inward. His head tilted to one side as Ginny's own face came nearer to his own. One of her tears was transferred from her own lightly freckled cheek to his as both their eyes slowly drifted closed.

Their lips touched, lightly at first, and then the sparks flew as it grew more passionate. Ginny's hands caressed the back of his head as his arms became entangled around her small frame. Their lips stayed locked as Draco's hands moved farther down. Ginny broke the kiss momentarily to breathe into his ear. "I love you." He smiled as she started to pull off his shirt. "You mean more to me then you know."


	6. skipping class and angry older brothers

**AN/: I am feeling awesome. And why is that, my fellow fanfic...ers.. may ask? It is, alas, because of the amazing rapidness in which I am updating at. GO ME!! I hope you guys are all enjoying the fic so far... as this chapter starts to heat up just a little bit and as angry older brothers sneak into the picture as they all tend to do in good time. teehee. enjoy!**

Hermione noticed the change. Where was that moody, depressed Ginny that she had seen all summer? The Ginny with the sad eyes that could start crying out of nowhere?

It's not like she was upset about the change. Or that she didn't enjoy this new, old Ginny being back again but she did think it was a little strange for her mood to change that rapidly. Over night more like it.

………………………..

Ginny let herself have a secret smile as she revived last night in her mind. Every time she let her focus drift it would go to Draco. How his eyes had lit up once again as he had kissed her neck. Or how he had held her close until her eyes drifted closed. She couldn't have been happier with the way it had happened. She knew know that he was the one for her, forever.

She could tell that her friends were happy to have the old smiling Ginny back again. She was glad too; she hated being depressed and moody all the time. As she walked down the corridor to her next class (transfiguration) she continued daydreaming about Draco. The next thing she knew, she had walked straight into a suit of armour.

Before she hit the ground, she felt a strong arm slide around her waist and help her keep her balance. As she turned around gratefully to thank the fellow classmate who had saved her from a lot of embarrassment, she looked up into the face of Draco Malfoy.

She smiled gratefully, but then carefully looked around to make sure no one had seen. Everyone was already in class so Ginny relaxed. **(AN/:almost everyone...but she doesnt know that yet so...shh!!) **She looked back up at Draco.

He chuckled. "Hey there, sweetheart. So I wonder, what could it be that you're thinking about so intensely that you could have missed the suit of armour standing right in front of you?" he teased. "Or should I say, _who._"

Ginny laughed. "Riight. So you automatically assume that I was thinking of you. Well, it's good to know that your ego hasn't deflated at all. "

His eyes twinkled. "Come on, let's have some fun." Before Ginny could protest he was pulling her along the corridor to an empty classroom. "Draco, no, wait! I have to get to class. Draco, McGonagall. Will. Kill. Me. Draco!"

He laughed. "Come on Gin, you can miss one class can't you? It's not like this will become a habit…unless you want it to." He threw a sly smile over his shoulder and Ginny blushed slightly. Why not, she reasoned. Its only one class and I hardly get to spend time with him anyway.

Draco pushed open the door to the empty classroom. Once they were inside, he silently put a spell on the door so that it would be locked from the outside. He turned to Ginny.

"You can come closer, you know. I won't bite. But of course, you know that." He smiled again as Ginny blushed. Last night had been so wonderful that she was surprised that she was shy around Draco after how gentle he had been.

She moved closer, telling herself how silly she was being for being shy around him. He does love you after all, she thought. And if I'm not comfortable with him now, when will I ever be? "I'm closer. Now what? Did you just drag me in here to talk?"

He raised an eyebrow slightly at her boldness. Not that he was complaining of course.

Silently, he put his hands on her waist and pulled her towards him until she was right up against him. He felt a shiver go down her spine and smiled. As he let down his bag from his shoulder, she ran her hands up his chest to rest on his shoulders. He turned around so that her back was now to the wall and lightly pushed up against her. Her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled his face toward hers. He kissed her lips, and then moved down to her neck. As things started warming up, Ginny pulled on his shirt to get it out of his trousers. Her arms strayed underneath the soft cotton fabric and moved upward to rest on his six pack abs and continued to roam.

Draco noticed her eager approach and moved back to her lips, kissing her more passionately. Both their eyes stayed closed out of bliss until they heard a knocking on the door. Shocked, they broke apart.

"What do we do?" Ginny whispered urgently. Draco leaned his ear against the door, hoping to catch who it was. He was fairly displeased that his and Ginny's make out session had been disturbed. "Don't worry, we'll just wait until they're gone." He whispered back.

Outside the door, an angry Ron Weasley had his ear pressed up against the door in the exact same spot as Draco attempting the same thing; to hear who was on the other side with his sister Ginny. Whoever it was had to be a bad influence, to convince Ginny to skip class. And Ron was going to find out who that person was.


	7. stuck in the room

**AN/: Alriight. So, here it is, another chapter. This one is a bit longer because I realized that the others were, in fact, quite short. And so, I have made a decision. Longer chapters, slower updates. Sorry guys!! Dont get me wrong, Ill update as often as I can, but since the chapters are all going to be longer this time around, its going to take awhile. Well, the plot thickens for our two lovers. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing... except my love for Draco.**

Ron stayed with his ear to the door. He had just been on the way to the male washroom when he had seen Ginny duck into the empty classroom. He hadn't been suspicious right off the bat when he had considered the possibilities of why she was headed into the particular empty room. It could be that she was getting something for a teacher, maybe left one of her books in that class, whatever. But being the protective and loving brother that he was, he stayed in the hallway so that he could ask her about it when she came out.

The only problem was that, after 5 minutes of waiting in the corridor, she still hadn't come out. It was then that Ron realized she must be in there with _someone_. He hadn't seen who of course, but he figured it must be a fellow classmate who needed some tutoring or one of her friends having girl problems and needing to talk about it.

But then why had she been _smiling_ as she had walked into the class? He couldn't think of why his sister would be skipping class to be in an empty classroom either by herself or with a friend, being that happy.

It finally hit him. She was with a bloke! She had to be!! He pushed on the washroom door out of satisfaction for finding out what she was doing and then left it swinging on its hinges as he made his way angrily toward the class. His little sister, skipping class for a _guy_? He was going to get to the bottom of this.

Pressing his ear against the door, Ron heard only silence followed by the quiet sound of a girl giggling and nothing else. What the hell?

Getting aggravated, he finally decided to just open the door and catch them in the act. Damn, it was locked. He knocked. Pressing his ear to the door once again, he heard a sharp gasp and could feel a pressure being lifted from the other side of the door. He could hear furious whispering from inside the room and felt himself getting frustrated. Who else was in the room?

……………………………..

Ginny was panicking. Draco was trying to calm her down. But no matter what he said, she couldn't stop pacing the room.

"Draco, I don't think you understand!" She whispered urgently. "If whoever is on the other side of that door saw us together, they're probably going to tell my brother and the rest of the school and we're going to have a LOT of explaining to do. This is going to cause so much trouble, why weren't we more careful?"

As she continued to silently rant and storm, Draco reminded her that the door was impenetrable from the outside. She calmed a little but was still not reassured.

"We're still going to have to come out of this room sooner or later," she reminded him. He answered with a knowing look. "I know that. But listen, if the person had in fact seen us together, why would they still be waiting outside the door trying to listen in on our conversation trying to figure out who's in here? They would have run to get your brother already wouldn't they? Maybe its just some stupid 3rd year trying to get juicy gossip to spread around if they saw you come in the room after me," he reasoned. "Whoever it is a stupid busybody who wants to know who you're shagging."

"I guess so," Ginny answered. "They'll get bored sooner or later and leave us alone. And if they had seen _me_, I doubt they saw you. I checked the hallways and no one was there. It must have been someone late getting to class."

Draco shrugged and leaned against the wall. He slid down until he was sitting on the cold stone floor and motioned for Ginny to come sit by him. She kneeled down and curled in toward him, her head resting on his chest listening for his steady heartbeat.

As they sat together for about 20 minutes or so, Ginny almost forgot why they were there as Draco held her hand and stroked her hair. Then, through the quiet of the room, she could hear a creak through the floorboards and a thud that came from the other side of the wall. She could almost see her and Draco's stalker getting tired of sitting there and waiting and rising from the floor to return to their life. Her heart lifted and she nudged Draco. He came to the same conclusion as Ginny and smiled. _See, _his smile said. _I told you so._

Ginny put her ear to the door and when she was sure no one was there, she carefully stood and helped Draco up. They nodded to each other, gathered their stuff and opened the door so Ginny could peer through the crack.

No one was there!! With a small yelp of triumph, they wrenched the door open. With a quick peck on the lips and a brief embrace, Ginny turned right toward the Gryffindor Common Room and Draco left, toward the dungeons. Draco turned back once to see Ginny's long red hair fly behind her as she ran.

………………………………

Ron had been sitting outside the door for almost a half hour. He was tired, cranky and really had to pee. Harry and Hermione were probably wondering where he had got to and Professor Snape was sure to give him a detention for missing 45 minutes of his class.

Finally, he decided to just leave and question Ginny about her skipping class escapades at dinner. He leaned against the wall for support while he got up as his foot had fallen asleep and gingerly made his way to the bathroom.

……………………………..

Ginny's heart beat fast as she ran toward the Common Room. That was close, she thought. What if someone had actually seen her with Draco? All hell would break loose; she knew that for a fact.

As she neared the portrait of the Fat Lady, she slowed down. Harry and Hermione were making their way toward her from the opposite direction.

"Ginny!" Hermione called out.

Ginny was still breathing hard from her run and took a few shallow breaths before answering, holding a stitch in her side. "Oh hey Hermione, Harry. Just dropping off your books before heading down to dinner?"

"Yeah we were. What about you? You look like you've just run a marathon." Harry smiled at her as he asked and Ginny felt a small pang of guilt. She smiled as if that was the silliest thing in the world.

"Not a marathon actually. I was just...uh...trying to get away from Filch. I accidentally knocked over a bucket full of soapy water and had to run away before he could put me in detention."

Harry and Hermione laughed. "That makes sense," Hermione confirmed of the situation. "But have you seen Ron anywhere lately?"

"Ron?" "Yeah," Harry replied. "He left Potions in the middle of class to go to the bathroom and never came back. Snape was pretty ticked off."

Ginny recalled fleetingly of passing a male bathroom on her way to the empty room with Draco. She pushed the thought out of her mind.

"No, I haven't seen him. Come on; let's drop our stuff off and go down to dinner."

Walking down to the Great Hall was cheerful enough for Ginny strolling alongside Harry and Hermione. Ginny realized that she had missed hanging out with her friends in the last little while, even if things were still a bit awkward between her and Harry.

Some of her friends caught up with her and asked her where she had been during class. She felt guilty again when she had to tell them that she had been in the hospital wing because of a bad headache but justified it by the fact that it was to spend precious time with Draco. No one questioned her; Ginny was not the kind of girl to miss one of her classes for no reason.

Her elated happiness diminished slightly though as she walked into the Great Hall. She could see Draco situated in his usual place at the Slytherin table out of the corner of her eye but then she saw red. The red hair and face of Ron Weasley storming toward her.


	8. mixed feelings

**AN/ Hey guys! So, I have to admit. The last review I got put a BIG smile on my face! I hope I get some more though as this chapter gets a little more...intense. I hope none of you are confused and dont mind me stirring things up!!**

**cheers, ABgirl**

Ginny turned on her heel very quickly, blushing almost the same shade as Ron. It had been him who had seen them together! No, that couldn't be. He would have killed Draco by now. He must have seen her… and thought she was skipping class! Okay, she thought, I can bullshit my way through this easy.

She turned to see Ron walking toward her. His face had paled a bit and Ginny took that as a good sign.

Harry chuckled, standing just a few paces in front of her. "What's up with Ron?" he asked. "He's walking toward us. And he looks kind of mad. Uhm…he's looking at you Ginny. This is where," Harry commented, "I would leave the Great Hall before he explodes on you for something."

Ginny smiled gratefully at Harry. She didn't know that from across the room Draco saw the smile and was secretly plotting ways to kill Harry and somehow come off looking innocent.

"It's alright," she told him. "I can handle him."

Ron walked the last few paces toward them and stopped in front of Ginny. "So Ginny," he said in a sort of forced calm. "How was Transfiguration?"

He was being evil. That bastard. Well, two could play at that game, thought Ginny.

"Actually Ron, I had to miss that class today. I had to, uhm…" she struggled to make up an excuse, "help Julianne on some overdue homework during the class. We didn't do anything particularly interesting today so McGonagall let us take some time off so she could get caught up with her work."

She smiled her sweetest smile and hoped Ron wouldn't find the holes in her story.

Harry and Hermione watched the siblings tread carefully around what they said. Both were hiding something. Ron, that he had tried to stalk Ginny and wanted to know everything about her life and what she was doing, and Ginny with her secret affair with her big brother's worst enemy. Neither wanted to be caught but both wanted the other to be exposed so that they could place blame.

"Oh yeah?" said Ron. "I like Julianne. I always thought she was pretty smart. She needed help with some Transfiguration?"

Damn.

"Yeah, we were doing some pretty tricky spellwork and she couldn't quite get the hang of it."

"Unh huh."

"You know Ginny, I was just on my way to the bathroom when I happened to see you duck into that empty classroom to _help Julianne_. Being curious, I knocked on the door to see if you…needed any help," Ron emphasized the last part, making sure that Ginny couldn't accuse him of being an overprotective brother who wanted to make sure she was never doing anything wrong. "Why didn't you answer?"

Ginny bit the inside of her mouth. He wanted her to admit she was with a guy, she was sure of that. She wasn't going to do it though, she wasn't going to let Ron ruin this for her too.

"I guess we were too busy…turning the desks into racoons, " she thought wildly, using what they had done last class. "It takes a lot of concentration Ron, you couldn't even get it right, remember?" She laughed, hoping to distract him.

Ron turned a little redder as he blushed. But at that moment a tiny first year ran by and stepped on his robe. He yelped and turned around to yank his robe from under the boy's foot.

Ginny took the moment to send a pleading look in Harry's direction. He had been watching the scene with great amusement, but nodded when he saw Ginny's look. She wanted Ron off her back, and she needed his help.

She rearranged her face as Ron looked back up at her, cursing the first year. Just as he opened his mouth to interrogate Ginny some more, Harry pulled him around by the arm.

"Come on Ron, give Ginny some space. She was just helping a classmate with some work! Its not like she was off snogging a teacher right?" Ron grinned uncertainly but still did not look reassured.

"Look, our food will get cold," Harry continued. "And they have your favourite tonight, chocolate éclairs for desert!" That did the trick. Anything that had to do with food distracted Ron completely.

He gave Ginny a searching look before planting himself on the bench beside Hermione. She gave a little chuckle and he kissed her on the cheek before helping himself to some food.

Harry smiled at Ginny and she smiled gratefully back at him. They sat down together and started to eat. When Harry reached over her she smelt his cologne, so different from Draco's yet a nice smell nonetheless. Their hands brushed each others occasionally and they smiled, Ginny giggled.

Harry is a nice guy, Ginny thought to herself. A real friend.

Then why did she feel guilty when she felt a small jolt in her stomach when his leg touched hers and he didn't move away? Why did she secretly want his hand to brush hers again? What kind of girlfriend was she?

…………………………..

Draco crushed the glass in his hand without even knowing it. He looked down as pumpkin juice splattered all over him and a shard of glass hit his face. As Pansy fussed over cleaning him up, he didn't resist.

What was Ginny thinking? Flirting not so inconspicuously with Harry, right in front of him?!! Yeah, so he had helped her out of a tight spot. Draco had watched the whole scene over at the Gryffindor table with a slight smile on his face as he had seen Ginny try to manipulate Ron. The smile had quickly dropped when he saw the look Ginny had given Potter and when he had come to the rescue, as always.

He felt a pang of jealousy and anger toward Ginny. She could be so difficult sometime. Maybe she was secretly paying him back for breaking her heart last year? Trying to make him jealous on purpose?

That must be it, he thought. She's getting revenge. He always knew how feisty Ginny was, but this was actually kind of hurtful. He had only broken up with her last year to protect her hadn't he?

He didn't know what to think anymore. The Hall was blurry as he felt tears sting his eyes. What's wrong with me?! He thought angrily. Malfoys. Do. Not. Cry! He couldn't take it anymore. Without finishing his meal, he stood up and left the great hall, blinking away those stupid tears.

Isn't it ironic how tears and _tears _are spelt the same way? And right now, Ginny was tearing at his heart with each smile she sent Harry's way.

………………………….

Ginny saw him leave and knew it was her fault. What was she doing anyway? Snap out of it, she thought. Flirting with Harry? This is so wrong. I need to talk to Draco.

She got up but Harry reached out to hold onto her arm. "Where're you going?" he asked. "I…I just remembered something…I have to do." She stammered. He looked worried but let go of her arm. "I'm here if you want to talk Gin."

Ginny felt horrible. She was leading him on again and that's not what she wanted. But somewhere deep down, and it disgusted her beyond belief, she admitted to herself that she still had feelings for Harry. He had never been anything but good to her and he had been, after all, her first love.

That's not an easy thing to let go of, especially for Ginny and she hated herself for it. Wasn't Draco enough? Didn't his love count for anything? She didn't deserve his attention, she was a two timing whore.

"I'm okay Harry. I just…I have to do something. I'll see you in the common room?" She faked a smile and it physically hurt her when he squeezed her hand one last time in a reassuring way before quickly pulling her down to peck her on the cheek. "I'll see you in the common room," he confirmed.

Ginny almost ran out of the Great Hall. She needed to find Draco and tell him that she loved him more then life itself. Then why was she falling for Harry all over again?

…………………………..

He was leaning against the wall outside of the library. No one would look for him here, he knew that for a fact. Blaise and Pansy had seemed worried when he had walked out of the Great Hall in such a hurry and Draco didn't want them chasing after him. He needed some time to think.

What he really wanted though, was to have Ginny here sitting beside him. He couldn't understand how one thing had led to another and how he had overreacted so hugely. She was just trying to be nice to Harry, wasn't she? He was wrong for having thought otherwise. Why would she do anything to hurt him purposely? He was being the bad boyfriend, too overprotective just like her brother. He had to find her, to apologize.

Right as he stood up, he saw her. Long red hair flying behind her and a teary look on her face. Had he really hurt her feelings that bad? He walked briskly toward her and gathered her in his arms. "Draco," she sobbed into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Gin, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to walk out like that." She pulled back, a disbelieving look on her face. He actually thought that it was _his fault_? She felt even worse and knew for sure now that she didn't deserve him.

He held her for a few minutes until her crying subsided. She looked at him. "I love you Draco, I really do. And that will never change." "I love you too Gin. I'm so sorry I made you cry. "

She held his face in her hands. "It's not your fault," she said. "It's me. I'm the one who should be sorry. I…" she couldn't continue. It was too hard admitting to him the brief moment when she had somehow blocked him out and let Harry in. She wouldn't hurt him like that, she couldn't. What if he left her? She wouldn't be able to stand that, not again.

"I need to figure some things out." With that, she left a confused and slightly hurt Draco outside the library doors as she turned toward the Gryffindor tower.


	9. letting it all out

**AN/. Hey guys !! I know, I know. This chapter took forever right? Sorry about the delay guys, but I've been pretty busy these last couple of weeks. So in exchange, I made this chapter nice and long! Well...longer then the other ones anyway. Enhh, well I hope you guys like it. The whole chapter is basically Ginny figuring out why her life is so messed up. Ahahahha. Enjoy !**

Ginny ran. She had tears in her eyes and didn't care if they were streaming down her face or not. She was so confused, she didn't know what to do or where to go.

Not to the common room, Harry was sure to be there and she didn't want to see him right now. She needed someplace to think, somewhere she could be alone and undisturbed.

Then it hit her. She ran up the two flights of stairs and turned left down the corridor. She kept running until she came upon the Room of Requirement. She paced in front of it 3 times. _I need somewhere to think, to be alone, _she thought.

The door appeared and she entered the familiar room. The same room where she had spent so many sleepless nights in Draco's arms, worrying about their future together. Now where was she? Running to the room to get _away_ from Draco because of some silly little girl feelings towards her first crush.

The room today was a small, comfortable looking sitting room. Two squishy squintz armchairs sat in front of a blazing fire in the fireplace. It had nice oak floor paneling covered by a thick rug, walls that were dark mahogany yet bare, with the exception of a large portrait on the far wall which held a sleeping maiden, her long brown hair falling in locks over the edge of her bed.

Ginny took one look at the room and knew it was perfect. It was comfortable and elegant but had nothing too extravagant to distract her from her thoughts.

As she took a seat in one of the squishy armchairs, she thought about what had happened.

She loved Draco, she knew that. She would do anything for him. But then why was she having mixed feelings about Harry as well? She had had a major crush on Harry since the first time he had approached her mother, asking how to breach platform 9 ¾. He had been so nice to her over the years, eating meals with her occasionally and supporting her when she joined the Quidditch team. He talked with her and walked her to class. He had always been there for her when Ron was getting on her nerves and never hesitated to try and make her feel better when he could tell she was feeling down.

What girl wouldn't have fallen head over heels for him? In her mind, he was perfect in every single way. From the way his hair gently brushed his eyes, to the way the dimple at the corner of his mouth showed when he gave a lopsided smile.

So there it was, he was her first, major crush. It was almost like she was obsessed. When Hermione came to her that one night and told her that she needed to relax, to act normal around him, Ginny knew she was right. After that, Ginny had stopped thinking about him so much. She didn't run away every time he walked in the room and started to relax as Hermione had advised. It was just her luck that Harry started to notice her the night after she had been with Draco.

She had returned to the common room that morning, tired and dishevelled. It had been a long night. Her muscles were sore from staying in one position for so long and her head hurt from talking so much, late into the night.

As she had staggered toward the nearest armchair and fallen into it, exhausted, Harry had just left his dormitory and had started to make his way down the staircase. He had stopped when he had seen Ginny, still in her uniform, lying across the armchair, her hair tangled over her face and her chest rising steadily from her deep breaths. She had captured Harry in her sleep, and not even known it.

The next morning, she could feel that something was different, but she laid the feeling aside and blamed it on her mixed thoughts toward Draco Malfoy.

Becoming friends with Draco had been so strange, and yet so easy at the same time. Even though they came from two different worlds, they had connected that first night. She was no longer a blood traitor and a Weasley, but instead, just a girl who needed some attention. Draco was no longer the nosy, cold hearted bastard of a Malfoy, and now just a young man with the world on his shoulders.

Together, they overcame their fears and embraced each others company and words. Draco would tell her horrible stories from his childhood, and talk about what it was like growing up in the Malfoy Manor. Ginny would sit listening until it was her turn to speak. A mutual understanding and caring for each other grew and Ginny now found her thoughts wavering toward how Draco had smiled at her, rather then what Harry had said to her at dinner.

Draco had warned her that their relationship had to be kept secret. That she should act as if nothing had happened, as if they still hated each other. So she did. And that was where the flaw occurred. Ginny felt detached. As if one side of her heart laid waiting for night to come, where she would hurry to Draco's side, as the other part opened up and let Harry in.

She did it unconsciously, not knowing what she really felt. At the time, she knew she was falling for Draco, yet somewhere in the back of her mind she had always felt a little tug at her heart where Harry was concerned.

When Draco and Ginny broke it off, she was devastated. But she had tried to carry on, for both of their sakes. The night that Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup, she had ran to Harry, knowing guiltily that she had led him on. But her and Draco were over now weren't they? Hadn't he said that they could never, ever, be together? She had let go of her loneliness and ran straight into Harry's arms.

Even though it was over, she knew it wasn't really. She knew that Draco had just wanted things to cool down before they could be together again. She had run to Harry, when she knew in her heart that she should have just stayed where she was.

Ginny sighed with relief. It all made sense. All of her mixed feelings, everything she had felt in those last couple of weeks all came flooding back to her and then disappeared into the distance. She knew now.

She still had feelings for Harry, because there had never been an _end. _She had liked him for so long, and when she had started seeing Draco, they had never really been together. And when Draco had left her, Harry had been there with his arms wide open. She loved Draco but loved Harry at the same time. Anyone looking in on the scene would have told her to stay with Harry, that he had never hurt her, that he would do anything for her whereas Draco had been a coward.

But that was wrong. And she knew now that she loved Draco with every fiber of her being. She loved the cold depth of his eyes. The faraway look he would get when he was thinking. She loved it when his expression would turn soft and a lazy smile would grace his lips. She loved it when he gave her access to his thoughts and feelings. Like a key being turned in a lock and opening into the darkest and deepest room filled with secrets, and a warm hand guiding her around the room, telling her that it was okay for her to trespass upon this forbidden territory.

He had never been a coward, and Ginny realized that she had resented him for it. She had felt betrayed, and hurt, and therefore had never really forgiven him, and in the process, never let go of Harry. She knew what she had to do.

Standing from her chair, she crossed the room, dried her eyes on her sleeves, and turned to make her way to the Gryffindor Common Room.

………………………………………

Draco was confused. And depressed. Two things that he never would have felt 3 years ago, before he had met the fiery redhead. Ginny had entered his world by chance, and had turned everything upside down. From his thoughts, to his actions, she had changed him into a completely different person, without even realizing it.

But he did. He knew that he needed her, and that he would do anything for her. Then why had he made her cry? His single instant of jealousy had sent her fleeing from the Great Hall in tears. He felt terrible.

But then, why had she come running up to him to tell him that it hadn't been his fault? That she was confused, and just needed time to figure some things out?

Why was she confused? And if he hadn't hurt her, who had? Those thoughts kept whirling around in his head until he could feel his temples throbbing. She had been sitting with Potter, yes, he remembered that. They had been so… so… _comfortable_ around each other and unnaturally close that Draco had felt his blood boil and nasty thoughts had been allowed entry to his head.

Shortly after he had witnessed their…closeness, he had fled the Great Hall in a rage. Ginny had been fine moments before he had left…so if he hadn't done or said anything to upset her, it must have been Potter!

But…no, that couldn't be. Potter had been acting like a complete gentleman! Maybe too friendly a gentleman for Draco's liking, but polite nonetheless.

He sighed. Girls. They were meant to confuse you, and Ginny was the hardest to understand of them all. He decided to put his thoughts at ease. Whatever it was that was bothering her, he would let her figure it out and tell him in due time. Whatever it was, he would be behind her, 100 percent.

…………………………

Panting hard, she clambered through the portrait hole. Almost before she was even out the other side, a hand reached toward her to help her up. She didn't even have to look up to know who it was.

"Uhm, thanks Harry. Er…can I talk to you for a second?"

Green eyes stared back at her from behind his glasses. They twinkled but softened a bit when he heard the seriousness of her tone.

"Course Gin. Er…upstairs then? Seeing as I'm not allowed in your dormitory…"

"Yeah, upstairs."

As she followed Harry up the staircase toward the boys dormitories, she looked down to see a smug smile on Ron's face and saw the thumbs up Hermione gave her. She looked forward and watched Harry's back, knowing what she had to do.

As she closed the door behind herself, Harry turned. His gaze was questioning but kind. He gestured toward the nearest bed, and they sat down.

"So, what is it Gin?" Harry asked.

"I need…I mean, I have to tell you something." He nodded to show that he was listening and to continue.

"Well, you have to understand, this is hard for me to say Harry. It's just that…you know how we were…how we were…"

"Together?" Harry added hopefully.

"Yes. Well, last year anyway. And then, we broke up because of, well, because of everything. And this year, we've been, getting closer and I just, "

Harry interrupted mid sentence. "Look Gin, I know these last couple of months have been hectic, for all of us. But I just want you to know that while everything was happening last June, it really was impossible for us to have a relationship. Letting go of you was probably the hardest thing I had ever done. But I had to, you know that don't you?"

"Of course, but…"

"And this year, now that everything is back to normal, I thought, hey, maybe I could win her back. Look, I'm not an idiot. I know I hurt you, and that's the last thing I ever wanted to do. I know you might not want to, but if you're ready, I'd really be willing to give this relationship another shot. That's what you wanted to talk to me about wasn't it?"

Ginny stared at Harry, speechless. It was tempting to say yes, to make Harry happy along with Hermione and the rest of her family. If only she said yes, her whole life and all its problems could be solved, and she could have the open, wonderful relationship with him that she had always wanted.

But no. She couldn't, and she realized then that she wouldn't have, not for all the galleons in the world.

"Listen Harry, if you had said the same thing to me a year ago you would have made me the happiest girl on earth. I would gladly be with you, and even would have spent my whole life with you. But I can't."

Harry looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Look Harry, last year, even before we were together, I met someone. I met someone so wonderful and amazing that I became friends with him right away. And over the months, our relationship grew into something more. But I couldn't tell anyone about him because we both knew that our relationship would never last if other people knew about it. That we had to keep it a secret.

I know that I led you on, but it was completely unintentional. That night, after we won the Quidditch Cup, I came to you because…well because I had broken up with…this guy. We realized that we could never be together and we broke up. He told me to go to you, to live my life with you and be happy, because if I couldn't be with him, he wanted me to have the best, and that meant you."

Harry looked so hurt, Ginny could hardly bear it. But it was time he knew the truth. Clearing her throat, she continued.

"When you broke up with me, I was devastated. I couldn't believe that I had lost the two men in my life that I had cared the most about, one after the other. You weren't the only one who came back for me after things had settled down Harry. He came back too. And I know now that I love him, more then anything. And that he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, no matter what anyone else thinks. I had to tell you the truth Harry, because until now I was torn. But I've made up my mind, and hope that you can accept the truth."

She waited. Harry wasn't looking at her anymore, but out the window overlooking the Quidditch pitch. He sighed, and looked back at her.

"This is really hard for me to hear Gin, "

"I know Harry, but… "

"But who am I to stand in the way of your true love right? Look Gin, I love you, I really do. But if you don't feel the same way, then that's fine with me. My only regret is that I didn't capture your heart the same way this guy did. I hope that he makes you the happiest girl in the world Gin, because that's the only guy you really deserve. Just tell me one thing, please? Who is he?"

Ginny looked down. She had known that he was going to ask. She looked back up to meet his eyes and said the name confidently, with hardly a waver.

"Draco Malfoy."

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"You're…you're serious Gin? I mean, you're not just saying this to hurt me, are you?"

"Harry, I would never say anything to hurt you intentionally. I know this may seem crazy but I need you to understand. If you'll just let me tell you how it happened…"

She trailed off. Harry had turned red. Half out of anger and half out of embarrassment that the love of his life had left him for the cold hearted bastard of a ferret who had done so many horrible things, who had loathed Harry and all of his friends, including Ginny!

"I can't believe this."


	10. the aftermath

**AN/. AHAH. Feelings, so many feelings!! Wow..this is my longest chapter yet! Well, I hope you guys enjoy it, I tried to make it as interesting as I could while still making sense. Im not sure if I quite accomplished that...but its up to you guys to decide! Dont forget to review!! Enjoy.**

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was she joking? She had to be. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't possible. Malfoy? Of all people, it had to be Malfoy? Ginny could have just as well stabbed a knife through his heart rather then confess her feelings for the ferret. This, truly, must be what true pain felt like. It was as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest while still beating. It was the worst pain he had ever felt in his life.

"I can't believe this."

"Harry, "

"Shut up okay? Just, SHUT UP!"

Ginny was shocked. Harry stood and towered over her. He was breathing hard and was red in the face. Fear started to replace her surprise. He looked so mad and angry that for the first time in her life, Ginny felt threatened. She stood shakily and backed as far away from him as possible. She stopped when her back hit the wall.

She was too scared to speak. She waited for him to move, even half expected him to hit her.

"How could you do this to me?" He asked in a loud voice. "What did I ever do to deserve this? Haven't I ever only done what was best for you? Comforted you, helped you, was a true friend? What did I ever do to deserve this shit?"

"Harry, I…" Ginny tried to speak but nothing came out. She felt the tears sting her eyes and rapidly blinked them away. "I know this is hard for you to hear but, "

"Hard for me to hear?" Harry interrupted with an exasperated scoff. "Oh no Ginny, this is just the highlight of my day," he added sarcastically. "The one girl I truly care about telling me that she loves the guy who's been on my case since the day I set foot in Hogwarts! Not to mention, insulted every single member of your family, mine and Hermione's. You must not give a shit about us and everything he's done to make our lives miserable. But I guess you just forgave him for every single one of his stupid mistakes didn't you? Did he mention that his whole family is associated with Voldemort and that his father is a death eater? Did that even cross your mind? Better yet, did he show you the dark mark that's most likely engraved on his left forearm? Or did he forget to mention that when you showed up for your blind date?!"

"Harry, please, just listen to me!" The tears ran down her face but she didn't bother to wipe them away.

"You have a right to be mad, you really do! I don't blame you, I know that everything you're saying is true and that this is hard for you to understand but it's not the whole story! He's not like that at all! He's sweet and funny and, "

She stopped. Harry looked so angry that she couldn't find the words to go on. She knew that she was in the wrong and that it was all her fault. She was making not only her own life difficult, but hurting all the people she really cared about by staying in her relationship with Draco. It truly was, forbidden love.

Suddenly, all of her strength and will to fight back left her and she was left to sag against the wall. She felt dizzy and lightheaded. Harry's face swam in front of hers. Before the tears obscured her vision completely, she saw the expression on his face change from anger to worry. Then she knew no more.

………………………….

"Ginny, what's wrong, are you okay? Oh god, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, really, I was just mad. Ginny, Ginny! Can you hear me? Oh god, please wake up!"

Harry knelt beside the unconscious form of Ginny, trying in vain to revive her. He was hysteric. He was mad, and in shock, but he could never bear to watch her in pain or hurt.

His conscience had fought to control his anger as he had yelled. His heart broke with each tear that had fallen from her cheeks, but he knew that he would have to put up a fight, so that it would be easier for Ginny to hate him, and easier for him to let go if he really tried to convince himself that she was as horrible as he had made her sound.

But watching her cry and then faint had been the worst thing he had ever had to endure. Whatever she had going on with Draco, he would have to accept it, but right now, she needed his help. He wasn't about to abandon her again.

Leaving her side, he ran to the common room to get Ron and Hermione.

……………………

Ginny opened her eyes to the harsh blare of the Hospital Wing and its white walls. As she blinked to clear her vision, the events of the past week came back to her as if watching a slideshow.

Harry, Draco leaving the Great Hall, the room of requirement, talking to Harry, Harry yelling, oh god. What have I done? She thought. I've messed everything up. Harry's probably told the whole world by now what happened. But how did I get here?

Painfully she recalled passing out in the boys dormitories. Everything had been so hazy, it was as if all the strength had been zapped out of her. She groaned.

"Ginny, are you okay? Are you awake?"

Slowly, Ginny opened her eyes to see the bushy brown hair of Hermione Granger.

"Hey Hermione…how did I get here?"

"You passed out. Madam Pomfrey said that you're exhausted. That you're not getting enough sleep, are dehydrated and that you're way too stressed out. She gave you some dreamless sleep potion and some other potion to help you regain some of your strength. You've been out of it for almost a day and a half. You need rest right now, you'll be allowed to leave in a couple of hours. You scared us all so much Gin. One minute you were upstairs talking to Harry, and maybe 20 minutes later Harry came running down the stairs to say you had fainted."

She paused. Then slowly asked, "Is everything okay Gin? I mean, you've been acting so strange lately, I've barely had a chance to talk to you…what's wrong? You can tell me, I swear. I just want to know so that I can help you."

Ginny sat up in her bed. She felt the tears return. She knew that Hermione was just trying to be a good friend and to help her. She wished with all her heart that she could tell her what was going on, and that she could get advice from her. But would she ever understand?

If Hermione didn't already know, that meant that Harry must have kept their conversation private, and Ginny's heart clenched rather then released. Half of her wished that Harry had just told everyone so that she could finally, _finally_ be out in the open and not have to explain anything to anyone, ever again.

"Oh Hermione!" She fell into Hermione's arms. Sobs shook her as her friend gently patted her back and soothed her forehead. Ginny cried for what felt like a long time. When she looked up, Harry and Ron were both standing at the foot of her bed.

"Gin!" Ron cried. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Everything's wrong!" She cried. "Don't you understand? Why can't anybody just leave me alone?! I try and try to be perfect and to do what everyone else wants but I just can't okay? I can't do it anymore! So what if I want to be different, if I like different people?" She shot a look in Harry's direction. He looked down guiltily.

"That doesn't make me a bad person! Just because I can see the good in people that others can't, why should I get in trouble for it? How is it wrong? Why doesn't anybody just understand?" She held her face in her hands and sobbed.

Ron and Hermione both looked shocked. They had no idea why Ginny was so upset or why she was rambling. Harry felt horrible. He gave the other two a knowing look and they got up reluctantly from around Ginny's bed to give them some space. Both of them figured that Harry would be able to sort her out, he always could.

As Ron and Hermione's footsteps faded and they heard the closing of the Hospital Wing door, Harry sat tentively on the edge of Ginny's bed. She sobbed passionately until no more tears would escape. Silently, with choking dry sobs, she dried her eyes and looked up to see Harry sitting facing away from her. He turned toward her and took a shaky breath.

"Gin," he started. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I really am. I flew off the handle yesterday and didn't let you explain anything."

She listened quietly. What was he trying to say?

"I thought about it and…well, I realized that you wouldn't like Malfoy for no reason. You're not stupid and you would never go for him if he was as horrible as we all think he is. He must have something that I don't, something that made you look past his exterior and to see something deeper, something that only you can understand."

"I'm not going to pretend like I'm not confused, or that I have any idea how this happened, but I'm going to support you in your decision. I always have, and I always will. Last year, when Mal–Draco, was so caught up in the whole dark arts, Voldemort campaign, I saw something in him that I never thought I would see. He was scared, and was only trying to do what he thought would help his family. He didn't want to kill Dumbledore, and he was ready to come over to the good side when Dumbledore offered him the chance, I'm sure of it. Pity mingled with my dislike and it finally clicked that he was a person too. So I can kind of understand that there's something else…that he is different. I may never really see him the way you do, but…I get it. "

"Harry," she started. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I know that this is hard, and that it seems impossible, but it is true. I love him, I really do. He's not the guy we all thought he was. He's wonderful, and he gives me all the love and attention that I need. It's crazy, I know it is, especially after our history but, its true. I love Draco Malfoy."

Harry looked at her. It was a look of sad understanding and it broke her heart.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I really am."

He nodded and stood up. He quickly wiped at his face before turning to leave. With his hand on her curtain, he turned.

"I won't tell anyone about this Gin. That's up to you and I'll let you do it in your own time. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, and that I'll help you out whenever you need it. But remember this, if he ever, _ever, _hurts you, I'll kill him. I hope you understand."

And with a swish of the hangings, Harry left Ginny to cry herself to sleep. What was going to happen?

…………………………….

Ginny awoke an hour later and felt a light breeze on her face. She didn't open her eyes, she was too tired. But she was sure that they must be red and puffy from all her crying.

As she lay on her bed, she felt a hand lightly and gently caress her face. It started from the tip of her forehead and came down to rest on her cheek bone. She shook her head lightly and opened her eyes.

"Draco," she whispered faintly. She felt her heart lift. It was so good to see him. She hadn't realized how much she had actually missed him.

He was still in his school uniform and had his bag draped across the chair. He smiled when he saw that her eyes were open. He gently leaned toward her to kiss her forehead.

"Hey Beautiful," he said quietly. "How're you doing?"

"I'm okay," she answered. "It's so good to see you."

"It's good to see you too sweetheart. But how'd you end up in the hospital wing? I heard Granger and Weasley saying that you fainted from exhaustion. You've been stressing out about something lately…its not…about us, is it?"

He looked worried and Ginny gave him a small smile to soothe him.

"Shh, don't worry about me, I'm fine. I've just been tired lately, working myself too hard. I needed this, a nice long rest. I'm okay now, it had nothing to do with us, really."

"Are you sure?" He saw straight through Ginny's façade and knew that there was more to it then she was telling him.

"I'm sure. Trust me, okay?"

He still looked doubtful but made no further attempt to pressure her. She had been through a lot lately.

He held her hand and continued to stroke her face. They didn't need to say anything. Both of them relished being in each others company. Ginny didn't care if anyone saw them together, all she cared about was that Draco was with her, and she didn't want him to leave anytime soon.

"Come closer," she whispered.

Draco understood perfectly. His own body longed to be closer to her, to hold her, to inhale her scent. He removed his cloak and shoes and lifted himself onto her bed. She moved over to make room for him but he pulled her into his arms.

As they lay together in silence, Ginny felt content for the first time in what felt like forever. Nothing mattered anymore. Everything that had happened was worth it for her to have this moment, suspended in time, for her to be alone with him.

Her head rested on his chest as she listen to his heartbeat. He stroked her hair and rubbed her back. As he tilted his head downwards, their lips touched. Ginny's arms wound around his neck and tangled in his hair. He turned over until he was on top of her, but kept most of his weight suspended off of her. Their lips pulled at each other passionately, each wanting to be ever closer. Draco's hands strayed over Ginny's body as he kissed her neck. They kissed passionately as their bodies warmed up. Still, he moved farther down, kissing inbetween her cleavage and letting her hands roam his chest. She pulled him as close to her as possible until both their bodies were pressing together as close as they could get. Both were breathing hard when Draco reluctantly pulled away.

"Gin, we can't do this here. Somebody will see us."

"Let them," she said. She couldn't care less who saw them. It felt so good to be back in his arms that frankly, nothing else mattered.

"This isn't right Ginny," he said, slowly pulling away from her. "You're released later on tonight right? Meet me at the room of requirement, and we'll do this right, I promise. I don't want to let go either, but someone is sure to see us, and that won't be good for either of us."

She knew he was right. So she gently disengaged her arms and let him get up from her bed. Draco gathered his stuff and turned around to face her. She knew she had a sad face on but she didn't care.

He leaned in and gave her a deep kiss. He held her face with both his hands and ran them through her hair. Before he pulled away, he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"The Room of Requirement, 9 o'clock. I'll see you tonight."

She nodded and he gave her one of his rare smiles before leaving the Hospital Wing, just as Harry had done not 2 hours before.

………………………..

Harry's eyes narrowed slightly when he saw Draco leaving the Hospital Wing as he return from dinner with Ron and Hermione. He had been to see Ginny, he was sure of it. He felt his fists clench, but turned away. He promised Ginny that he would support her, and he would keep his promise.

As they continued to make their way out of the Entrance Hall, Draco passed right by them.

"Alright there Potter?" he smirked.

Ron opened his mouth to speak but Harry caught his arm.

"Don't," he said. "Just leave it, let's go."

…………………………….

Ginny entered the Room of Requirement 5 minutes past 9. She had had to make a lot of excuses to escape the common room and her worried friends. In the end, she told them that she wanted to go down to the kitchen for some hot chocolate and maybe have a quick walk in the grounds. They had protested, but Ginny had slipped away quickly before they could try to convince her any further to stay.

As she entered the room, she saw Draco with his back to her. He turned. He had a light white cotton shirt on, with the sleeves rolled up and the first 3 buttons undone. He walked toward her with his arms outstretched.

Ginny melted in his arms. They wasted no time getting back to where they were. Without saying a word, he lifted up her shirt. They began kissing furiously while backing up toward the four poster bed in the corner of the room.

As they fell upon it, Ginny mentally noted that this could possibly be her last night with Draco where she could have no worries. She needed to make up her mind tomorrow about what she was going to do. Keep their relationship a secret or tell Hermione, something that she had wanted to do for a long time. As the thoughts whirled around inside her head, she decided to savour tonight and to make up her mind in the morning.

She smiled as Draco's face came within inches of her own, and felt his hands move to her waist where he proceeded to pull off her skirt.


	11. caught in the act

**AN/. Okay guys, im so so sorry about the wait. But hopefully you guys will like this chapter, a little Ginny/Draco/Harry drama! Im still trying to outline the rest of the plot so the next chapter might take a while. Any suggestions? Until then, enjoy! Dont forget to review!**

As he pulled down her skirt, Ginny felt tingles run over her body. She swiftly unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and pulled it off of him, letting it fall to the floor. Draco gently pushed her back until she was lying on the bed. Then he gently came nearer, to lie down on top of her. Their bodies folded together perfectly, one of Ginny's legs caught between his own. One of Draco's hands caressed Ginny's other leg as it lie over him. They kissed passionately.

Draco's hands continued to roam. They felt the smoothness of Ginny's porcelain skin and the lacy edge of her black panties. They crawled under her shirt and lingered over the buckle of her bra, teasing the soft material.

Ginny didn't complain. In fact, truth be told, she loved the attention. She loved it when Draco's eyes hungrily sought solace when overlooking her figure. She always felt a guilty pleasure when she could hear his uneven breathing in her ear, knowing full well that she was the reason for his pleasure.

Draco continued to caress and stroke Ginny's skin as he placed small kisses starting from her neck, ending at the edge of her panties. She in turn, rubbed his back and entwined her fingers in his hair, always pulling him ever nearer.

They tossed and turned, pulling the other with them. Ginny rolled over so that she was now on top of Draco. She sat on top of his chest and took the opportunity to run her hands over his abs. He leaned up on both elbows and held her head with one of his hands, pulling her nearer. Ginny teased him by trying to pull away, only to come closer in for a taste of his lips.

As articles of clothing were removed, and kiss after kiss brought them closer then a second before, something stirred in their hearts. A sense of panic…and want. Neither wanted the night to come to an end, because both knew it was the feeling of anxiety that rested upon their hearts for what morning was sure to bring.

……………………………..

As Ginny open her eyes after one hell of a night, she took time to become accustomed to the harsh glare of the sunlight, pouring in through the large window on her right. Groaning, she tried to turn over, stopping in time to remember that a sleepy figure was laying over her. Drained of her energy, she fell back into the pillows. She was always the lazy one in her family, next to Ron. Besides, why disturb this peaceful moment on a Saturday morning, everyone else in the castle was sure to be sleeping in.

She looked down at the unconscious form of Draco. His white blond hair askew, his breathing calm and regular. From the position he was lying in, Ginny could feel the hard muscles of his back, forearms and biceps. She savoured the fact that he was hers and a painful jab of love and overwhelming need to keep him forever danced around her heart.

After 15 minutes had lapsed in a comfortable silence, Draco began to stir. His first movement was to turn his head to rid the crick in his neck, right into Ginny's cleavage. She giggled and pushed him away. He lifted his head and a lazy smile graced his lips. He pushed back his hair and gave a long yawn.

"Heeyy honey," he said with the yawn still evident in his voice. "Wow, what a night huh?"

Ginny just smiled and rolled her eyes at him. He really did look adorable in the morning light. She kissed his forehead, and then proceeded to pull back her hair with the elastic on her wrist.

"Come on," she said. "Lets get some clothes on, I need a nice warm shower after so many hours of just lying in bed."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Is that an invitation?" he teased. "It was," she replied. "Now you'll just have to wait."

She hopped out of bed and proceeded to get on her clothes before Draco stopped her, asking,

"Why are you putting your clothes back on if you're just going to take them off again to get into the shower?"

She turned toward him, her clothes a bundle at her chest. "I would accuse you of being a horny teenage boy just trying to take advantage of my… nakedness by delaying my putting on any proper attire," she said in a mock accusing tone. "Were it not that you had a point."

She could still hear Draco's laughter through the bathroom door as the water slowly turned from cold to warm.

………………………………

"Where is she?" demanded and angry Ron. **"**Calm down Ron! People are staring!" Hermione grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to a far corner of the Common Room.

She had woken up to the raucous shouting of Ron Weasley and was not at all pleased. Upon arriving at the top of the stairs, she could see Ron harassing a stricken faced 6th year girl for information on Ginny's whereabouts. He looked so maniacal that the girl had tearfully shouted that she didn't know where Ginny was, and why was he shaking her?

Hermione had had to literally drag Ron away from the girl to stop his ranting. He turned toward her, the red leaving his face but not the frown.

"Where is she Hermione?" Hermione didn't answer; instead she did what her strongest instinct was telling her to do.

She slapped him, hard.

"OW!! What the fuck was that for? Freaking hell, are you crazy woman?"

Hermione took a deep breath to steady herself.

"Ron, you retarded imbecile!" she yelled. "How dare you harass Ginny's friends? Who _cares _if she's not with them, she has a life you know!"

"They haven't seen her since last night!" he protested angrily. "Who knows who she ran off with…?"

Hermione answered him with another slap, but with less force this time.

"OW!"

"Do you know what the word privacy means Ronald? It means that Ginny has a life and that she can spend it any way she wants! For god's sake, she's been in the Hospital Wing these last few days; don't you think she might have needed a bit of time to cool off?"

"But …but…" he stammered, obviously at a loss for words.

"It also means," Hermione continued, "that she doesn't need to always inform you of where she's going or who she's spending her time with! So you need to LAY OFF!"

With a forceful push, she stormed away, leaving a confused looking Ron at the bottom of the staircase. This is what he gets for waking up Hermione Granger too early in the morning.

He stammered and uttered incomprehensible words until Harry finally walked down the boy's staircase.

"Hey Ron," he started. "What was all the yelling about?"

"Ginny's been missing for the night and just because I wanted to be a good brother and find out if she was alright or not, Hermione here had to give me a load of crap about being too invasive and too overprotective and not knowing the meaning of the word, _privacy._" He huffed.

Harry's face momentarily darkened. He could only give a wild guess to where Ginny might be, but he promised her… why did he promise her anything? She broke his heart and now all of the sudden he was just supposed to roll over? These last couple of days had been the hardest on him. Wanting to see Ginny…yet hating her at the same time. His heart told him to stay far away from her, but his head was telling him that he had to be the good guy; he wasn't going to be the one to make any trouble.

"I…I'm sure she's fine Ron. Maybe she went to go see Hagrid or…you know, spent the night up in the owlery or something."

"The owlery?" scoffed Ron.

Harry laughed; no one would choose to spend the night up in a cold tower with no one but a bunch of birds to comfort them.

"You're right. Well, maybe we'll see her at breakfast, come on."

So Harry and Ron left the Common Room and headed down the Great Hall. They could never know what was already there waiting for them.

………………………………

"Draco, Draco stop. Somebody's going to see us!" Ginny giggled in between breaths as Draco kissed her neck longingly. They had left the Room of Requirement and were heading down to the Great Hall when Draco had found a new lease of life. Pushing Ginny up against a wall he hungrily leant up against her, savouring the smell of her perfumed body and running his hands through her damp hair.

Ginny could do nothing but oblige and to give in to her body's wants. They both wanted it, but were scared silly of anyone seeing them, making them want it even more. Ginny gave a small moan as Draco sucked lovingly at her neck and found her legs automatically winding around him. Draco lifted her up and kept her leaning against the wall, nothing but his weight pushing up against her to make sure she didn't fall.

They kissed furiously and without thinking, Ginny put her hands up Draco's shirt. He lifted an eyebrow but without breaking their kiss, started to undo her tie. Being so thoroughly engrossed, neither could have possible heard the footsteps coming their way.

……………………………..

"So there I was, moving from side to side trying to keep my eye on Davies when out of nowhere, the Quaffle soars right by my right arm! Without thinking, I just leapt to the side and grabbed it before it went through the hoop! It was amazing Harry, you should have been there. Too bad you had detention with McGonagall. Why was that anyway?"

"She caught me wandering around the halls at night. I couldn't sleep and I was stupid enough to not take my Invisibility cloak."

"Oh…too bad. Hey, listen,"

But Harry was too preoccupied to listen to Ron any longer. They had just rounded a corner and 50 ft away, Harry could make out the dim figures of Ginny and Draco, looking very involved indeed. He felt his blood boil and his fists clench.

Ron, clueless as always, continued to talk as Harry stopped dead in his tracks. Harry thought fast.

"Ron!!"

Ron turned and looked back at Harry. "Yeah? What's up?"

Harry thought fast. "Uhh…uhhm...oh yeah! I forgot to tell you that…thing. That thing that we were, uhh, supposed to do! Err, that thing that Hermione wanted us to do for her!"

"Hermione wanted us to do something for her?"

Harry was so distracted by watching Ginny and Draco in the distance that he could hardly answer Ron.

"You know, she, err…she wanted us to help her with SPEW!"

"SPEW?" Scoffed Ron. "Why would she ask us to help her with SPEW? She knows we're not exactly involved with her little act of righteousness."

"Er… she said that there was something in it for us this time. Listen, I have to go talk to Flitwick about an assignment but you head on back, I'll be there in a minute."

Ron gave Harry a weird look, then shrugged and sighed. "Alright alright, see you then. I wouldn't want Hermione even madder at me, like that lecture she gave me wasn't enough."

Still mumbling, Ron walked the other way, as Harry once again looked in the direction of the two lovebirds. Feeling his face turn red with shame, embarrassment and anger, he stormed toward them.

When he reached them, he forcefully pulled Draco off of Ginny. She almost fell to the ground as they both gasped as they looked at him. Ginny was in near shock. Draco simply raised an eyebrow and looked coldly in Harry's direction.

"Harry, I…I…" Ginny stammered. She didn't know what to say.

Harry was breathing hard. He tried to open his mouth but no words came out. All he could manage was an angry choke.

"Ginny! What the hell are you doing? Making out with the ferret, in broad daylight! In the middle of a corridor, who knows who could have seen you?! Ron and I were 50 feet away from you and you didn't even notice! You're lucky I covered for you or you wouldn't even be alive if he had seen you two!"

Ginny looked to the ground, too embarrassed to speak. This gave Harry an odd feeling of pleasure and he continued to rant. At last, he had a good excuse to really give her all that was on his mind.

"Prancing around with this joke, not caring who you hurt as long as you got a good shag in the process. You don't give a shit about anyone around you; you're nothing but a selfish whore!"

The next thing Harry knew, he felt a hard fist collide with his face and he was on the ground. Draco stood towering over him, the cold smirk replaced by a look of hard fury.

"How dare you talk to Ginny like that? I'm the bastard? Well get this Potter, Ginny's with me now and its no wonder she prefers this cold blooded ferret to an imbecile like you. At least I give her the protection and, satisfaction" he gave Harry an evil look, "that she needs. You talk to her like that ever again, and I swear, I'll do a lot worse then that to your face."

Heart pumping with a vengeance, Harry stood up.

"Don't act like you're the saint here Malfoy. Who knows what you did to brainwash Ginny into thinking you're on our side. We both know that she would never fall for you in real life, not after all you've done. If anyone should be feeling mad here, it's me! I save the wizarding world again and again, I do nothing but good, I'm the one she should be with! But it seems that no one is on my side anymore. Did she just forget how much I've done for her over the years? It seems like it, because she must have forgotten all you've done for her too!"

Draco smirked. "It's not my fault she's not attracted to attention seeking heroes. Have you ever thought of getting off your high horse and giving us something to talk about besides that stupid cut on your forehead?"

"Oh ho! Look who's talking! Get off my high horse? Who is it prancing around with your nose up in the heavens, talking about everything and everyone as if they're scum, showing the Dark Mark off to your mates? Who taught you how to win a girl Malfoy, your loser of a father, dead in Azkaban?"

Draco was breathing hard. There was colour in his cheeks and he could barely contain his anger.

Ginny was holding onto his arm, shocked and scared. She knew what these two were capable of, and wasn't looking forward to being caught in the middle of their dispute.

"Draco, Draco stop!" Pushing away the odd feeling of déja vu of already saying these words not 15 minutes ago in a happier light, she continued.

"Listen you guys, Harry too. This, this is all too confusing. I can't handle being caught in the middle like this alright? Harry, I love Draco. You don't know him like I do. But Draco, a part of me will always love Harry, and be thankful for everything he's done for me. I can't help it, and that's the way it's going to be. But if you two can't accept the fact that we're all on the same side now, and that there is going to have to be a mutual respect, if not totally ignoring each other then,"

"Then what Ginny?" asked Harry. "You know, you're the reason all this is happening. I could have even forgiven Malfoy for being such an ass all these years because guess what? That's just who I am. Were it not that you had to go and break my heart first. "

Ginny had no reply. It was all her fault, and she knew it. Why would Draco or Harry ever want a girl like her anyway? She should be doomed to live a lonely life, dying alone and with a heart of stone. It was a wonder Draco loved her.

"Shove off Potter, alright? Look, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But we both care about Ginny, so for her sake, lets just both bleeding sod off of each other. You don't say anything about us, and I'll freaking lay off you and the other two thirds of the golden trio. Deal?"

"On one condition," said Harry. "Ginny stays the hell away from me."

With one last loathing look, Harry gave a stiff nod to Draco, and stalked off without a second glance at Ginny.

"Oh god, Draco. Harry's right, this is all my fault. I am a selfish brat, who doesn't deserve you, or anyone else."

Draco looked down at Ginny, who was shaking her head and was red in the face.

"Hey, shh, don't talk like that. Listen, nobody said that this was going to be easy. But we got through talking to the Boy Who Lived didn't we? And it wasn't that bad either. Come on, let's just forget about what happened and get some breakfast. I'll meet you down by the lake when you're done and we can spend some time together. Okay?"

Ginny looked at Draco and smiled. He always knew how to cheer her up. Wiping her eyes on her sleeves, she nodded.

Breaking their hands away from each other, Draco slid his smirk back onto his face and entered the Great Hall. 30 seconds later, Ginny's energetic face smiled at her friends, who were fiercely beckoning her over to them, telling her about how her brother had near strangled them.


	12. when dreams become reality

**A/N**: **Hey guys ! Sorry this chapter took so long, I needed to rethink how the plot was going to end up. So, I hope you like it as problems for our two lovers grow ever consistantly. Ill be leaving for camp for about three weeks, (actually Im leaving in a couple of hours!) so I thought that I should leave you guys with a bit of a cliffie until I return and can continue the story. Enjoy!**

He sat with his back to her, leaning against an old beech tree facing the water. He sat in only his white school shirt, his loose tie around his neck, and his arm resting carelessly over his knee. His brow was furrowed, and the setting sun cast long shadows on his distinguished features.

Ginny almost didn't want to go up to him. She just wanted to stay in this place where she loved everything about him. Hesitantly, she walked up behind him. He must have heard her coming, for his face instantly relaxed, and a smile was evident on his lips, but he didn't turn around. Ginny inhaled, filling her lungs with the sweet air that smelt like a mixture of pine coming from the forest and the smell of still water. She looked out on the lake, and saw the small waves ripple from the breeze. She could have sat down next to him, snuggled and complained about how horrible her day had been and knew that he would listen to every word. Somehow, it felt right to just be near him, without talking, without doing anything.

Silently, Draco looked up. Ginny's hair flew effortlessly around her, and her eyes shone in front of the sun. He extended his arm, and she took his hand. He opened his arms and Ginny fit perfectly, leaning on his chest.

Draco murmured four words softly into her hair. "I love you Ginny."

Ginny smiled and snuggled closer. "I love you too Draco. Always and forever."

They stayed there until the sun set and long afterwards. Draco had his arms held protectively around Ginny while she dozed in his arms.

Draco broke the silence. "I will never leave you Ginny, and don't you forget it."

Little did he know that he would not be able to keep his promise… just like last year.

…………………………….

"Hermione, I need to talk to you."

"What's up Ginny?"

"Okay, but before I tell you, promise me that you won't freak out."

"Come on Gin, it can't be that bad," laughed Hermione. She stopped when she saw the serious look on Ginny's face. "Ok," she said, "I promise I won't freak out, or get angry."

Ginny took a deep breath and looked at Hermione. What the hell, she thought. Her reaction can't be as bad as Harry's was.

"Ok," Ginny started, "you might have noticed that Harry and I aren't, you know…an item anymore."

Hermione interrupted her with a wave of her hand. "Gin, stop. I know."

Ginny's mouth dropped open. "You know? How could you know? Are you sure you know?"

Hermione laughed. "Just because Harry and Ron are both clueless, it doesn't mean that I am. I saw you guys together, you and Draco, last year."

Ginny's jaw had almost reached the floor. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Hermione knew about her relationship with Draco? Why had she never said anything? "But…I don't understand." Ginny stuttered. "Were we that obvious?" Hermione smiled. "I didn't realize it right away. Actually, I was furious the first time I saw you guys in an…well, lets just say intimate situation." She raised an eyebrow in mock disaproval and Ginny blushed. 

"I was on my way to tell Harry and Ron when I realized that it was none of my business!" Hermione laughed. "I didn't want to ruin our friendship because of a scene I witnessed that you might very well have a reasonable explanation for, and I wasn't about to spy on you for your brother."

"Oh, Hermione! I'm so sorry I never told you about us. It was never the right time and I didn't know how you would take it. Will you ever forgive me?"

Hermione smiled. "You have nothing to be ashamed of Gin! Okay, I know this whole you and Draco thing is kind of weird, but I get it. Or at least, I'm pretending I do. I trust you, and that's all that matters. Just promise me you'll be careful Gin. From the way you were looking at him that first night on the carriage, and you being in the hospital wing… are you sure he's worth it? After all that he's done?"

"I don't think that anyone will ever understand," Ginny replied. "There are days when I feel like it's all surreal. I'll be kissing him and it will just hit me how bizarre the situation is. Sometimes, I don't even know how I got where I am now."

The two girls talked late into the night. They cried, they laughed, and Ginny felt as if a massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She hadn't realized until then how much she had missed her friend and talking to her. Having Hermione understand, and know that she had her support, was more than Ginny could have asked for.

The only other people who Ginny still had to tell before her and Draco could openly be together? Her family, and the rest of her world.

…………………………………..

Draco tossed and turned. His hair was sticking to his forehead and the sheets were now tangled in a mess around his body. In a rage, he kicked off the sheets and woke up, gasping and spluttering.

Sitting up in bed, breathing heavily, Draco looked at his watch. It read 2:15 am. He groaned. He couldn't even remember the last time he had had a good night sleep.

The past few weeks, Draco had been having a recurring nightmare. In it, his mother was always trapped inside a glass cage at the end of a long hallway. Draco could hear her screaming, her pleas of help. He would always run to her, shouting her name, screaming for her to be let out. Upon reaching the cage, he would stop. A man holding the collar of his shirt would throw him aside, laughing cruelly. A man in a black cloak, his hood hiding his features.

Yelling incomprehensible swears, Draco would fight to get up, his eyes never leaving the face of the man. Something would always be holding him back. As he watched, the glass cage with his mother would slowly fade away, but her eyes would always be locked onto his. Finally being able to get up, Draco would run to the man, claw at his chest and attempt to rip him apart. Suddenly, the man would reach up and draw away his hood.

It was Lucius.

"I've already taken care of your mother Draco, you're next."

Draco would always wake up in a sweat, gasping as if his father's hold around his neck still existed. It was a nightmare, that's all. Lucius was dead, and so was his mother. He had wasted away in Azkaban after a life dedicated to the service of Lord Voldemort and committed to the torture of his wife and son.

Draco retched. His father had ruined his life while he was alive, now he was haunting his dreams.

"I'll be damned if that bastard ever gets the better of me again," Draco muttered through gritted teeth. "You're already dead old man!" Draco yelled. "You want to come after me? Go ahead! I'm waiting."

He didn't care if anyone heard him. Besides, none of the other Slytherins would consent to sharing a dorm with him. If he happened to wake them up with his shouting, well fuck them. He could scream when he wanted to, where he wanted to. No wonder they all thought he was deranged and that his brains had been addled after refusing to do the Lord's bidding. No one got away with that, they thought, no one.

……………………………………

Wiping the sleep from his eyes, Draco made his way down to the Great Hall, searching for Ginny as he walked. He wouldn't tell her about his dreams, it would only worry her. Sitting down at his accustomed seat about three spots over from anyone from his house, he looked up at the owls arrived to deliver their post.

He was fairly shocked when a large tawny owl came swooping over to where he sat. His parents were dead, he had no close relatives or friends out of Hogwarts, he was completely alone. Who would be sending him post?

From across the Great Hall, Professor McGonagall's eyes narrowed as the same thoughts ran through her mind.

Slowly disengaging the letter from the foot of the owl, Draco gave him a bit of his toast before letting him fly off. Upon glancing at the handwriting which his name had been written by, Draco blanched.

Standing up suddenly, he left the Great Hall, clutching the letter tightly in his fist.

Minerva McGonagall was not the only one to watch him depart. Ginny's brow furrowed and Hermione patted her gently on the shoulder.

………………………..

Shaking slightly, Draco made his way over to his bed, locking his door on the way in. He had a reason to be disconcerted. He was fairly sure that letters from his dead father were not an every day occurrence.

With trembling fingers, he opened the letter. A thin piece of yellowed paper fell out. It read:

_You know who this is. I am at a complete loss as to how you could believe the Daily Prophet and the printing that I am dead. I am disappointed, I expected more from you Draco. I am weak. I cannot survive on my own for much longer. I think that a much needed meeting between the two of us is required and it is to my understanding that you no longer share a dorm with anyone but yourself. Midnight. I will see you then._

Draco glanced at his empty fireplace, as if expecting the image of his father to burst out in flames. He couldn't believe it, how could his father be alive? How could he have escaped from Azkaban and staged his own death? Draco's whole body was shaking uncontrollably. Here was the man who had terrorized him for most his life, presumed dead, calmly requesting a meeting with his son after nearly a year and a half?

Draco looked down at the letter in his hand. He knew what he had to do. Wiping his face, and rearranging his already perfect uniform, he made his way to McGonagall's office, where she was already waiting for him.

………………………………

"_You understand, Mr.Malfoy, our concerns._"

"_I do._"

"_Then you also understand why I think it best that you have your own dorm._"

"_I do._ "

"_Any letter that you receive this year will be brought directly to myself for inspection. I will be aware of every class you do not attend. Your grades must remain at the Exceed's Expectations level. Any detentions will be served with me. I will be aware of any misbehaviour. Is that understood?_ "

"_It is._"

_Professor McGonagall sighed. "This is required, Mr. Malfoy, for your own protection, as well as the safety of the other students. What happened last year… it is not something easily forgotten. Many of the students and their families are angry and do not trust you. You have no idea how many complaints I received by letting you back into the school. Your word alone is not enough to change their minds, not when they have been hurt so badly. You are the only one left for them to blame for all that has happened! Now, I trust you. I understand the situation you were put in, and why you did what you did. But you cannot expect others to feel the same."_

"_I understand."_

"_Then please understand this. Your personal life is no longer personal. No more secrets. If I find even a shred of evidence that you are planning to resort to any old ways or habits…there will be no mercy Mr.Malfoy. You know the consequences."_

"_I do."_

…………………………………

Ginny watched from afar as Draco uttered the password to the stone gargoyle and ascended the moving spiral staircase to the Head Master's office. Her eyes narrowed slightly out of curiosity and concern. What was so disturbing in the content of that letter that had made Draco exit the Great Hall in such a fashion? Why had he come directly to McGonagall's office afterwards, without explaining the situation to Ginny?

Ginny's only guess was that something was wrong. Stepping out of the shadows, she looked down at her watch. 10:15 am. Well, she thought, I have no where else to be on a Saturday morning. I might as well wait.

Sinking down against the wall, Ginny made herself comfortable. Who knew how long she would be waiting for?

………………………………….

Draco hadn't even finished his first knock when her voice rang out.

"Enter."

He opened the door to the now familiar office. He couldn't even count how many times he had visited it over the last year, or how many talks he had had with the elderly woman sitting behind the desk.

"I have the letter," he said. "It was from my father."

"Your father?" she replied, raising an eyebrow with a hint of curiosity in her voice. "Lucius? Forgive me for being a tad insensitive Mr. Malfoy, but I believe your father is dead."

Draco scoffed. "Well, I guess that was too much to ask for then wasn't it?"

He thrust the letter onto her desk and watched as her brow furrowed with every passing moment.

When she looked up, her face had resumed calm. "Did it cross your mind that this could be a fake? There are still, as you know, many death eaters who are in hiding. Perhaps one of them could have sent that letter to you as a coy?"

"It crossed my mind," he said with a hint of a snarl.

McGonagall raised another eyebrow at his behaviour. Draco looked down.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's just that, this letter disconcerts me. You see, I've been having these nightmares, where my father is still alive and is plotting to kill me. This plan to distract me from my studies, or whatever it is, is bad timing on my part."

Professor McGonagall sighed. "I understand. Nevertheless, I would like to see who comes to visit you in the fire tonight, and how they came to know of your sleeping whereabouts."

"You want me to talk to whoever it is?" Draco asked in disbelief.

"Yes, I think that it would be best. Whoever it is… we need to know. I will expect a full report about your visit…or non existent one, tomorrow morning."

"You're not even going to be there with me?" Draco asked worriedly.

He didn't let her know what was actually on his mind. The fact that he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that this was no plot to provoke him into doing something by some ex death eater wanting revenge. He had a feeling in his gut that it was his father and that he had somehow escaped from Azkaban and was now after his son. He couldn't explain the feeling, he just knew.

"I think," she replied softly. "that it would be for the best. The letter was addressed to you…and whatever may happen, I trust you Mr. Malfoy. I trust that whatever may happen… well, you understand."

Attempting desperately to hide his growing fear, Draco nodded and left the office without another word.

………………………………………..

"Ginny! Gin, honey, wake up!"

Ginny opened her groggy eyes to find Draco's face looming inches in front of her own.

"Oh Draco!" she exclaimed. "I was waiting for you, I was so worried! What happened, are you okay? Is everything okay?"

"We need to talk." Leading her by the hand, Draco's heart thudded against his chest at the prospect of what he was going to tell her. How would she react?

…………………………………

"How could he have escaped?" Ginny asked in wonder. "I mean, we know he died, there were witnesses weren't there? He was buried for god's sake!"

Draco sighed, but a slight smile was evident on his lips. They were in the kitchen and Draco had just finished explaining the situation. Ginny's brow was furrowed in concentration and he reached out a hand to gently smooth away some loose strands of hair.

"Don't worry about it love," he said. "I'm sure this is just a trick of some sort, someone trying to get me worked up. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a Slytherin who sent me that letter, god knows I should be receiving more hate mail than this."

"Don't say that Draco, it's not true."

"I think it is," Draco whispered softly.

"Well," Ginny said determinedly, "Whether or not the coward wants to show their face, whoever it is, I'll be there with you. We'll see who it is together."

Draco smiled.

………………………………

It was nearly midnight and Draco had just snuck Ginny into the Slytherin Common Room. She gasped inwardly to the contrast between this one and her own friendly one that she was so used to.

Holding her hand, with a finger to his lips to indicate that they should be quiet, they entered his dorm.

Quietly, they watched as the clock ticked away. They sat in front of the glowing fire, hands clasped. Draco grew impatient with every passing moment.

Suddenly, the fire began to glow green. The flames spun faster and faster until a face was evident. When everything stopped turning, the features in the fire looked up at Draco and smiled.

"You," Both Draco and Ginny breathed. It couldn't be.


	13. the hardest part

**AN/:** Hey guys ! So YAY, go me! I finally got a chance to update. Spent almost the entire day writing out this chapter, I knew I owed it to you guys. And Im glad too, because so far my summer has been pretty hectic and busy. I hope you guys have all had a good summer so far!! Alright, so my next chapter might take a while, just because Ill be so busy with school in the fall. But dont worry, an update will definitely be on my agenda. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter and the direction that Im taking the story. Remember, reviews are the highlight of my day!

Ginny positively shrieked. "Remus? Is that you? What are you doing?!"

"Shh! He whispered urgently. "I don't have much time. Draco, you need to listen to me very carefully."

The colour was returning into Draco's face and he turned to look at the face in the fire. Dishevelled brown/grey hair, kind features, brown eyes, and a hardened look. A complete contrast to the light hair, and cold piercing blue eyes that Draco was expecting. He nodded and Lupin continued.

"There are Death Eaters, some in hiding, others in Azkaban, that want you dead. Your father's mistakes, coupled by the belief that you betrayed Voldemort and are disgracing his memory by returning to Hogwarts and not be made to suffer, it has stirred anger into their beings. You're the only one left for them to blame! The Order has been trying to track down the last few remaining faithful servants, but we can't have a guard on you at all times. McGonagall can only do so much as Headmistress."

"Does she know?" Draco asked. "Does she know that you were going to meet me in the fire tonight? Is that why she didn't want to be here, she already knows?"

"That's right," Remus replied. "We've already expressed our concerns with her. We've been hearing rumours of Amycus and Fenrir planning a break in to Hogwarts. Under normal circumstances, we wouldn't be worried, Hogwarts being so well protected but… with the present circumstances at hand…" he trailed off and glanced at Ginny.

Draco and Ginny both looked at each other. So they hadn't been able to keep their relationship a secret. McGonagall must have known something had changed, maybe another teacher had seen them and notified her, maybe Harry had said something? Draco's blood boiled at the thought. Somehow, they had found out.

"Draco, by staying at Hogwarts…you're putting Ginny at risk. We have no way of knowing how much Greyback and Amycus know about you two. What we're proposing, is that you come into hiding, at the Order of the Phoenix headquarters, just until we catch them. We'll let it slip that you're no longer at Hogwarts, on the run. They won't ever need to come here, and possibly harm others in the process."

Ginny's grip tightened unconsciously and when she finally realized it and looked down, her nails had dug into Draco's skin. They both looked at each other. Their eyes met and they knew that Remus was right. But that didn't make it fair!

When Ginny spoke, her voice quavered dangerously. "You don't know how long it will be, or if this is their plan!" she argued tearfully. "Maybe they want to separate us, it will make it easier for them to attack if you're not here, everyone will be unsuspecting! What if they find out where Headquarters is and no one is there and they attack? What will I do sitting here worrying while you're in danger?!"

"Ginny,"

"No Remus, you don't understand! I can't, _we_ can't do this! You said yourself that Hogwarts would be safer!"

"Ginny," Draco whispered. "We have to. As hard as it will be to be away from you, I will NOT stay here and put you in danger. Do you understand?"

"But Draco," Ginny pleaded. "What about school? What about your education? What if I need you here? Not miles away, what if I want you here, with me? I can't be apart from you; you know what happened the last time that happened. You almost died!"

Draco was shaking his head. He was about to speak but Remus cut him off.

"Tomorrow morning Draco, inform McGonagall that I came to see you and that everything went well. You should be packed before supper. Pack only your essentials, we can't afford to be carrying too much luggage around with us. Leave your trunk in the Headmistress' tower. I'll meet you in Hagrid's hut, he'll be expecting you. We'll leave as soon as it turns dark."

Ginny was shaking her head, saying no, no, no, this can't be happening. Draco nodded stiffly. Remus smiled slightly.

"With luck, this will only be for a short while Ginny. He'll be back before you know it."

Then he turned to Draco. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait," Draco cried. "Lupin… Remus, wait! I still don't understand. Why send me a letter pretending to be my father? His handwriting, how did you…? Why didn't McGonagall just tell me what was going on?"

Remus sighed. "Draco…the letter, it was real. We intercepted an owl sent from Azkaban a couple of months ago…it seems as though your father sent it to scare you and the owl had been put off track. It seems he already knew he was going to die and wanted it to be on his terms. How he figured that you would still be at Hogwarts, and alone in your dorm is beyond me. I guess he knew you quite well after all. Anyway, when we read it, we decided to send it anyway so that you would agree to meet with me. Would you have really come if Minerva had told you what I was going to say? Would you have listened? I'm sorry, for everything." There was no lie hidden in his eyes. Draco had no choice but to believe him.

He nodded again and Remus looked from his cold face to the distraught girl.

A swirl of green flames and he was gone. A moment later, Ginny lay sobbing in Draco's arms.

……………………………

"Shh…don't cry Ginny. You know I can't bear it when you cry." Ginny lay on his shoulder, crying her heart out, while Draco helplessly attempt to comfort her. Nothing could still the sobbing girl.

In between breaths, Draco could barely make out Ginny's words.

"Why does it always have to be US? Why. Fucking. US?" Splutter, gasp for air.

"I mean, what have we done to deserve this?" sniffle. "I do well in school; I'm good to my family. I fucking studied for the charms test last Wednesday!" Indignant growl. "Why can't the world leave us the hell alone?" sob.

"Gin, it'll only be for a little while. And you know that Lupin's right, no way will I put you, or anyone else for that matter, in danger. I have to go."

Ginny raised her head from his shoulder to look him in the eye. "You promised me, remember? That day at the lake, you promised me that you'd never leave me!"

Draco looked down, didn't she understand how hard it was for him too?

"I'm breaking my promise," he said. "And don't you dare judge me. I'm leaving to protect you!"

Ginny stood up fiercely.

"Oh," she scoffed sarcastically. "You mean just like last time? Well save your energy Draco, because I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself! Why must I constantly have to prove that again and again? Why must everyone insist on thinking of me as incapable and unable? Because I'm just a swooning little school girl, is that it? Is that what you think?"

Draco stood and took her by her shoulders. "You know that's not what I think Gin."

She looked at him tearfully. "I'm not sure that I do."

Leaving him standing there speechless, Ginny crossed the room to the door and left.

…………………………..

A bronze knocker. A knock. A voice. Draco entered the office he had now come to despise. Every single time he had been in here, it had meant nothing but bad news. Oh, how he loathed it.

He spoke in a harsh voice, kept his eyes on the ground.

"I'm leaving, tonight. When do you want me to bring my stuff up here?"

Minerva McGonagall studied him. Not as a student, but as a young man, dealt a hand of troubles and fears. He had been through so much, and now he was being ripped away from his salvation, again. How much more would he be able to handle?

"5 o'clock this afternoon is fine. A little later if you're not packed by then or…" she trailed off. "Be ready by 6."

He looked up and caught her eye. What did he see? Sadness, empathy, pity? A nod, and he left.

Walking down the corridors, he wondered why he had even bothered to put on his school robes. It wasn't like he was going to attend any classes. His thoughts wandered to Ginny, as they often did.

Where was she? At breakfast, naturally. How was she feeling? Draco did not like how things had ended with them after Remus Lupin's unexpected visit. But the more he thought about it, the more he thought that maybe Ginny was right. Did he honestly believe that she couldn't take care of herself? Loving Ginny meant that he had to trust her, and he did. He knew that she was more than capable to handle a couple of ex Death Eaters. After all, she had been through so much worse throughout the years. He realized that he was more afraid of feeling guilty for letting her down should anything happen more than anything. He couldn't bear for her to be disappointed in him, again.

How could he make it up to her? He was leaving tonight, and although he knew Ginny could look after herself, he still didn't want to take the risk. And he meant what he said, he didn't want any of the castle's other inhabitants to be hurt on account of him either.

He sighed heavily. She was right, why was it always them? Who knew when the next time he would see her would be.

…………………………….

Ginny looked up hopefully from her breakfast when she saw someone enter the Great Hall. A tired looking third year Hufflepuff, sauntered in late to breakfast. Ginny's thoughts wandered as she watched him make his way over to his house table. Perhaps he had stayed awake half the night studying for a test, or finishing an assignment. Had the rest of the boys in his dorm forgotten that he was a heavy sleeper and needed to be woken up in the morning? Maybe he had been reading, a really great book that he couldn't put down until his eyelids had drooped closed. Or was it nightmares? Nightmares that had kept him awake half the night, tossing and turning. Maybe like the nightmares Draco had?

She couldn't help it, her thoughts wandered again to her boyfriend. She had felt horrible about the way she had left him last night, but she hadn't been able to help it. Maybe he had thought about what she had said, could she really convince him to stay?

_Now I know I need you  
_

_Each and every day  
_

_I can't live without you  
_

_So don't run away  
_

_Baby you said that you love me  
_

_So why did you leave me  
_

_Why why why why?  
_

_I can't live  
_

_Thinkin' about this crazy day  
_

_I lose sleep  
_

_Just to daydream about you baby _

……………………………………..

Draco looked around at his room. An array of clothing and books littered the floor. His bed, messy and unkept. Green hangings, green emblems, Slytherin etched into every corner. He hadn't bothered to tidy up after himself… it wasn't as if someone would be occupying his room while he was gone. No, it would stay exactly how it was. When he returned perhaps he would clean it up… if he returned.

Stop, he told himself. You're being stupid. Of course you'll be coming back, how dare anyone try to stop me, he thought.

One last sweeping look, and he left his dorm, levitating his trunk out in front of him.

"Going somewhere?"

Draco stopped and looked toward the center of the Common Room where Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson sat. Along with a few assorted fellow Slytherins. Crabbe and Goyle sat off to the side of the group, averting their eyes from Draco's.

"As a matter of fact," Draco replied coolly. "I am. What does it matter to you?"

Blaise stood from his seat and stood facing Draco with a hard look on his face.

"Look mate," he started. "We know something's up. We're not all retarded. What's up with you? You were with us, remember? We followed you! Why the hell start with this whole guilt routine, no one is buying it, I hope you know that. We know what happened, with your dad, with the Dark Lord, we were there too. We used to be friends Draco! Now the only time any of us see you is at meals, when you're sitting alone at the end of the table or when you come in to sleep. Then there you go, disappearing into your room."

"It's not like you made any effort to talk to me Blaise," Draco replied. "You lot practically disowned me as a Slytherin. And why, may I ask? Because you all think I failed in doing the almighty Voldemort's bidding don't you? Well, I guess I can fill you all in on a little secret. I didn't fail, I never did. I refused. So what do you think of me now?" he asked sarcastically. "Still want to keep in touch? I'll send you a postcard."

He scoffed and turned to leave but Blaise spoke again.

"You coming back?"

"Let's just say, that this isn't the last time you'll be seeing me."

"Watch your back."

The stone wall resumed its solid form as soon as his robes had disappeared from view.

……………………………………………

His trunk packed and placed neatly in front of the Headmistress' desk, Draco watched his watch tick as the minutes went by. Quarter after five. He sighed as he watched students start milling into the Great Hall for supper. Only then did he realise how hungry he was. He had grabbed an early breakfast and a small bite to eat from the kitchens a few hours ago, and he figured he would need an actual meal before he left. He had no idea where the new Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix was, or how long it would take to get there.

As he looked around, at all the happy and carefree faces, he felt a pang of jealousy hit him. They had no idea what he would give to be in their places, his biggest worry being the upcoming Transfiguration test. He looked toward the Gryffindor house table, hoping to see Ginny but he was disappointed. Hermione saw him searching and caught his eye.

She knows, he thought bitterly. Who doesn't.

He turned away but a tap on his shoulder made him look around. Green eyes met blue and he instinctively took a step back.

"What do you want Potter" he growled. He couldn't care less about the particular hero standing in front of him, or about anything he had to say.

"You're leaving." It was a statement, not a question.

Draco raised an eyebrow and gasped in mock surprise. "Wow Potter, thank you so much for pointing that out! What could I ever do without you Scarhead?"

Harry's eyebrows furrowed and he looked away. He turned again to look Draco in the eyes but the blond was losing his patience.

"What do you want?" he asked roughly. "If you didn't already know, I'm on a tight schedule so whatever you have to say, say it quick. I have better things to do."

Harry spoke through gritted teeth. "I just wanted to let you know, that I'll…I'll look after her while you're gone. And I know you're thinking it so I'm going to say this too: It wasn't me. I didn't tell McGonagall, or anyone else for that matter."

"How did you know I was leaving?" Draco asked, disregarding what he had said about him not being the one who had ratted them out.

"Ginny…told Hermione."

Draco scoffed but continued to study Harry. He was impressed by the fact that Harry did not turn away from the intensity of his glare.

"Right," he said. "Well if that's all that you've got to say ­­"

"Good luck." He said it bluntly. Harry was surprised to hear himself say it…it just, slipped out. "I mean,"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Draco said quickly, trying to get over the awkwardness of the situation. "Don't die. Yeah, well…"

"See you."

Draco turned away quickly and went over to the Slytherin table. He ate as fast as he could, wanting to see Ginny more than ever. Talking to Zabini and Potter made his situation all the more real. This was serious, he was leaving and he had no idea how long it would take for him to get back to her. Why else would Potter come up to say, quite plainly, goodbye? He was trying to make amends so that he wouldn't feel guilty if anything did happen to Draco.

He looked up from his food and noticed that he was no longer sitting alone. The Slytherins who had ambushed him earlier on today now sat around him, eating quietly. He looked around at them and it only made him want to see Ginny more. He got up, and made his way over to the Entrance Hall.

……………………………………

Where is he? She thought frantically. Ginny ran up and down the halls in a complete stage of panic. What if he left without saying goodbye? When would she see him again? Oh god, what if something happens to him while he's gone, she thought wildly. The last thing I will have said to him is that I can take care of myself and that I don't need him!

Her footsteps echoed in the deserted corridors. Everyone was down at supper, give or take the few students with busier agendas, wandering the halls to get to their desired destination. But Ginny was only looking for one person. Her hair flew behind her as she made her way to the Entrance Hall. She looked down at her clock. Quarter to. Please let him be there, she thought. I need to see him.

_  
You're All That I Ever Know,  
When You Smile All My Face Always Seems To Glow,  
You Turned My Life Around,  
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down,  
You're All That I've Ever Known,  
When You Smile My Face Glows  
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down  
Say...You're All That I've Ever Known  
When You Smile My Face Glows  
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down  
And I Hope That You  
Feel The Same Way Too  
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too_

Their eyes met from afar and Ginny's eyes started watering long before she reached him. She fell into his arms and Draco held her so tightly he was scared he might break a rib. But she didn't care, nothing mattered. She couldn't believe that he was leaving.

They stood together quite still for some time. All they could feel was each other. All they could hear, smell, all they knew was one another. Nothing mattered.

The din of voices brought them back to reality. Draco led her by the hand and took her outside. The sweet smelling air hit them full blast. Tears ran silently down Ginny's face as she clung to him.

"Why are you leaving," she sobbed. "What am I going to do without you?"

"Gin honey, Ginny listen to me. You have to be strong, for both of us okay? You have to have faith. I'll be back before you know it, I promise. These guys aren't going to be that hard to track down, I'll be perfectly safe and when they're behind bars we can laugh about how silly this all was. Back before you know it, I swear."

He stroked her hair, and was thankful that it was becoming dark so that she couldn't see his own tears as they fell. The prospect of being alone again scared him more than he liked, and he couldn't bear seeing her like this.

Slowly, he began to disengage himself from her arms. "It's time for me to go Gin, Lupin and Hagrid are waiting."

She looked up at him, eyes red and mascara running down her cheeks. But she tried her best, she really did. Trying her hardest, she put on a brave watery smile. "I love you," she whispered passionately. "So much. And don't you dare forget it."

He took a step toward her and kissed her hard on the forehead. "Always and forever," he whispered. One last lingering look, and he turned away.

She watched his dark form until it reached Hagrid's hut and disappeared inside. Wrapping herself tightly in her cloak, she re entered the castle, not bothering to wipe away her tears.


	14. always & forever?

**A/N: Hey Guys! I know, I know, this chapter took FOREVER to write, and I'm super sorry about the wait. However, I am back into the spirit of writing and have set myself a New Yeas resolution to finish this story early 2008! So enjoy, as this may be one of the last few chapters ... we'll have to see as I'm always changing my mind about the plot. Anyways, I hope you like it and as a special treat, I tried to make this one extra long! Happy Holidays! **

"I'm ready. Let's go."

His heart hurt. Physically hurt, like someone was trying to rip it out of his body and really not taking care to ask him how he felt. He wondered vaguely if it would continue beating if this unknown force succeeded. Would it continue to beat forevermore, undisturbed, oblivious to what was happening to its owner? Subconsciously he reached up under his cloak and put his hand over his breast, willing the pain to stop. It only intensified as her face came clearly into view.

He hadn't looked back once after pulling away from her grip. As he had turned, he had felt the faintest sensation of her touch, reaching out to him, to pull him back. It hadn't come, but he knew Ginny wanted more than anything to call out, plead with him to stay. He knew she hadn't because it would have only made it harder, instead watching him cross the space between her and Hagrid's hut, willing his own tears to dry quickly so she wouldn't have to see him brush them away.

Upon reaching the door, he was met with a strong desire to set it on fire. Let Lupin know what was really on his mind, show him that he was more than capable of handling Greyback and any other Death Eater trying to steal the only happiness he'd managed to attain in his whole life. Was it really them that he was scared of? He knew the answer to that one. No, he was not scared of a couple of reject Death Eaters. What he was scared of was not only the fact that he was putting Ginny at risk by staying, but even more than that, becoming his father. True, unlike Draco his father had knowingly and deliberately harmed others whereas if Draco stayed, he would be doing it unintentionally, but hurting them nonetheless. He realised that he had made mistakes and that he was now facing the consequences of his actions, but he would be damned if he backed down like a coward and let someone else suffer for him, he had already been through that once and had lost the one person he cared about the most. He wouldn't let his mother die in vain. She died to save him, in hopes that he would become something more. He would prove everyone wrong about him, that he was sure of.

"I'm ready. Let's go."

………………………………………………

She was back in her dorm. Eyes swollen, head pounding. She couldn't believe he had just left. How could he have left? She moved around the room in a daze, unaware of what she was doing; rinsing her face, pulling back her hair.

She looked around her room, so unlike Draco's. She couldn't believe that not even 24 hours ago she had bee sitting safe in his arms, both of them unaware of what they would soon be facing. The dorm was empty, no surprise as everyone was downstairs eating dinner… normal people, normal lives.

How she longed to be normal again. No worries, no stress, just the liberty to live her life any way she saw fit. All of it had been stripped away. She didn't regret what had happened to her, only envied those free to with without the pain she was now feeling, for she may never have fallen in love, and that was the one price she was willing to pay, that she had paid, what made it all worth it.

But as Ginny stayed longer in her room, her thoughts of Draco began to overcome her. Her grief, which she had been trying so hard to contain, overtook her, filling every crevice of her body, seeping through every pore.

The emptiness surrounded her, consuming her in its entirety. She was alone, more alone now than she had ever been. The realization that he was gone, really and truly gone, for who knew how long, finally hit her.

Her head heavy and breaths shallow, Ginny did the one thing that Draco feared worst – she gave up and allowed herself to be led deeper and deeper toward the seductive smile that only darkness could possess, collapsing to a heap on the floor.

………………………………………..

_His head was pounding. He felt the pain before he was even conscious. Reaching up to gently to rub his temple, he groaned, the pain only intensifying as he tried to lift his head. Senses groggy, he attempted to lift his eyelids but could only make out a blurry picture. Squinting hard he tried again before giving up and resting his head back down. The pain, unbearable. _

………………………………………..

"I brought you your homework Gin."

"Thanks Colin, you can just put it over there. Did Flitwick give a lot today?"

"Not too bad, you'll be able to finish in no time. Can I get you some water?"

"Water would be great Colin, thanks."

She watched as he stepped away from her bed and brushed away the curtains surrounding her to refill the empty water jug sitting on her bedside table. She had been in the hospital wing a week now, recovering from the head concussion she'd received after passing out in her dorm. Her roommate Anna had discovered her a while later, bleeding heavily from the back of her head, the part she'd hit the hardest.

After awakening to find herself in the hospital wing yet again, she had bitter thoughts about the one person who always managed to land her there. The one person she longed to see the most.

She had awakened to the soft murmur of words that felt strangely comforting and relaxing. A wet cloth cool to her forehead, a hand lying over hers. Her eyelids had flickered open as a warm had caressed her face.

"_Hey beautiful, how're you feeling?"_

"_Draco?" she murmured sleepily. Had he come back for her?_

"_No Gin, it's me."_

Hazel eyes found green and she closed them while the tears began to cascade down, her loss etched on every line of her face.

………………………………………..

_Jesus, he thought. Where am I? _

_After numerous failed attempts to open his eyes he had finally succeeded, only to find himself in a dimly lit room, entangled in a white sheet, in a bed he didn't recognize. Looking around cautiously, trying not to disturb his pounding head, he discovered his clothes a jumble on the floor, an overturned chair, and the mattress he was laying on strangely lopsided. _

_Suddenly, he heard something. The sound of running water. His thoughts went instantly to that morning where Ginny had fled his teasing to escape into the shower. Ginny, oh how his heart ached for her. _

_Turning his head toward the sound, he saw steam emerging from under what he only assumed was the bathroom door. And just like that, it came flooding back. Memory had a way of waiting for just the right moment before rushing right back. And this rush, Draco didn't like. _

"_Shit," he said. "What have I done?"_

……………………………………………..

"Eat something Gin, you must be starving."

"Yeah Ginny, we have Quidditch later, you need your strength."

"I'm fine you guys, really! Just stop worrying, kay? I'm not hungry, I had a big lunch."

"But Gin,"

"No buts Hermione, I mean it. I think I'm going to go down to the pitch early, get some air. See you all later?"

Putting on a cheery, reassuring face, Ginny got up from the Gryffindor house table and made her way out of the Great Hall. She knew her friends were only trying to help and be supportive but she couldn't take much more of this false, happy charade she had to put on every time she was around them.

Pretending that it didn't hurt, that she didn't miss him was almost worse than the fact that he was actually gone. She missed him more than any one could ever know, crying herself to sleep every night just wishing that he could come back, or at the least, contact her and let her know that he was alright.

It had been four long weeks since Draco had walked out of her life. Memories were all she had of him now and the constant ache in her heart that reminded her every day that a piece of her was missing.

But the grief she kept at bay, to herself, no matter how much it hurt. Going on as though nothing had ever happened ­ attending classes, having meals with her friends, doing everything she possibly could to show them that she was brave. That she, Ginny Weasley, was strong and that she could get through this.

Mounting her broom she looked up at the clear blue sky and wondered, like the enchanted ceiling in the Great Hall, why it wouldn't reflect what she was really feeling. Her one possible outlet to the world to let them know that she was slowly dying inside, just waiting for someone to rescue her.

Taking a deep breath, she kicked off hard from the ground and relished the cool wind whipping at her face. This, at least, was real. And then a strange thought occurred to her, that perhaps this same wind had graced Draco's features as it was now gracing hers.

………………………………………..

The wind whipped and howled in his face, stinging his eyes and making them water. The broom he was flying on wasn't his own, lent to him by one of the unknown Order members now escorting him to headquarters. With Lupin to his right, Draco had a strange feeling of relief rush through him. He even had a strange urge to utter a bitter laugh as again he looked around and found himself surrounded by Order members.

He had done it. He was not his father, nor would he ever be. He had defied all that had been holding him back; every single thing that he had grown up forced to believe in. He was standing for what he believed in and for no one else but himself. It had been, ultimately, his choice to leave. No one could have forced him. It was for this, this one moment of realization, as Draco flew toward his freedom, flew toward a new life where he could be rid of his father. When he was ready to return, when the last of the Death Eaters, the late reminder to what he could have been, were gone – only then could he return to her, and finally offer Ginny the man she deserved. As the thought fuelled him, and filled him with hope, he knew that it was the only way, and prayed that she would forgive him.

…………………………………………….

She crossed off the 45th day on her calendar with red ink. Just over 6 weeks. She knew that it was finally taking a toll on her, and that as hard as she tried to hide it, the signs were definitely showing.

She was constantly tired, dishevelled and barely talked to anyone. She was getting late for classes far more often than she ever would be and her newfound laziness and lack of caring were hard to miss.

None of it went unnoticed by her friends, who were worried that they were losing their vibrant, full of life Ginny to this moody and depressed stranger.

"Ginny?" a tentative fellow 6th year girl named Rose asked one morning.

"What?" Ginny snapped back in return.

"Oh, uhm… sorry to bother you," she stammered, clearly uncomfortable, "but uh, well you left Transfiguration so fast today that, uh… Professor McGonagal wanted me to tell you that you have detention with her tonight at eight for being late to class again."

Ginny just glared at her. So fiercely that Rose blushed and looked down.

"So, uh…" she squeaked, "that was the message. Just thought that you should know!" And she left in a hurry, practically running form the fuming redhead.

"3rd fucking detention in the last two weeks," she grumbled. "I've had enough of her excuses to try and 'talk to me'. Jesus fucking Christ."

It was true, McGonagal _had_ been trying to get through to Ginny by taking advantage of her hourly detention slots that she had with her. With as sharp an eye as Professor McGonagal had, she would have to have been practically blind to miss what was happening with Ginny.

"Miss Weasley," she would always start off saying in a gently voice, "I can only imagine what you're going through right now, -"

"You got that right," Ginny would scoff (or else make some other rude comment to interrupt her)

"But talking about it to someone can only help!" McGonagal would say, ignoring Ginny's rude comment. "You can't sit around brooding, it's not healthy!"

But that would be exactly what Ginny would do. Brood and ignore her teacher for the remainder of the hour. Sighing heavily, McGonagal would give up, returning to the other side of her desk.

Ginny could only imagine that tonight would be no different. As she walked in, she prepared herself for the usual lecture but it didn't come. McGonagal sat behind her desk, quietly writing on a long piece of parchment. She didn't look up once as Ginny came in and took her usual seat. It unnerved Ginny, thinking that this was a new approach to get her to share her feelings.

_Let's see her try_, she thought savagely.

For the next 20 minutes, both teacher and pupil sat in silence, Ginny furiously glaring at McGonagal, who never so much as looked up from her parchment. After 35 minutes though, the silence began to feel suffocating.

_How can the silence be so loud?_ Ginny thought wilding, as it pressed in upon her. _I can't, I can't…_

Her breaths were quickening. Was it even possible to feel claustrophobic in a large room? In a moment, McGonagal was kneeling beside her, smoothing her hair and uttering calming words that Ginny couldn't make out. Her breathing returned to normal as she made eye contact with her teacher but quickly subsided to shaky uneven breaths as sobs choked her throat.

She began to cry, really cry, sobbing as she had never done before. Her head on the desk in front of her, her body shaking with grief, Ginny let it all out, confiding to McGonagal about the pain she was having to endure, who listened without a word. When it was all over and Ginny felt as though she had no tears left to give, her heart seemed to lift slightly and she filled her lungs with sweet air.

………………………………………………..

"It's been eight weeks," Draco growled as he looked around the brightly lit kitchen, "and we've only found three! Three! Where are the others, I thought we'd have found them by now!"

He raised his voice slightly as he directed his question to Lupin, who was sitting across from him at the dining table.

They were at the new headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix, Tonks' parents' house. Draco, who was so used to the grandeur of his own mansion and Hogwarts, had been slightly taken aback, when they had first arrived, not knowing exactly what he had expected. As time went on however, he had gotten used to the roomy house, far more welcoming than his own had ever been.

It had been, as Draco had announced, 8 weeks since they had arrived and since then, only three of the remaining Death Eaters had been captured. For the first couple of weeks, it had been suggested that he stay within HQ and remain hidden, but Draco would not stand for being tucked away and was soon joining Remus and various other Order members in the hunt.

Although the Death Eaters didn't propose any serious harm now that Voldemort was gone, the Order strongly felt that they should be taken care of and punished, removed from their midst so that they couldn't hurt any one else. Draco wanted them gone for other personal reasons, but wanted them gone nonetheless.

But as their tiring search began to wear on, Draco's life began to form somewhat of a routine. He was restless, bored even, and longed to return to Ginny and to Hogwarts. Every day Remus reassured him that they were that much closer until this was all a bad memory.

Then, one day, when their morale was low and tempers were getting a bit high, Lupin suggested a break.

"A break?" Draco asked incredulously. "What, you mean like a day off?"

"I mean," Lupin replied, "that you should get out and do something other than track Death Eaters, even if just for a night. I see how restless you are Draco and hanging around HQ all day with a bunch of adults must be tiring. I think a break would do you some good."

"So what are you proposing?" Draco asked, somewhat suspiciously.

"Oh, I don't know," Lupin sighed, scratching his chin. "Go out to the bar; watch a Muggle movie, anything you want!"

Draco thought about it and the more he did, the more appealing it seemed. Get out of HQ; stretch his legs, just him? A relaxing evening where he wouldn't have to worry about anything else…why not?

"Alright," he said. "I think I'm going to go out to the local pub, get a couple of drinks, put my head on straight. But first, I want to send a letter to Ginny."

Lupin thought about it for a moment before finally giving in. "Alright," he said.

Draco almost cheered. He hadn't been able to send word to Ginny because the Order thought it was too risky. They were worried that the owl might be intercepted and a false message relayed to Hogwarts, forcing Ginny to do something rash. But it had been long enough for Draco and the remaining Death Eaters were all in hiding, most likely to preoccupied with their own safety to care about intercepting owls.

As Draco sat down to write, he wondered what he would say. What could he possibly relay in ink to let Ginny know how much he missed her, how much he wished that he were with her? Thinking hard, he set his quill down and began to write.

_My dearest Ginny,_

_I'm so sorry I haven't been able to send word sooner. Words cannot express how much I miss you, how I regret every day that I had to break my promise to you. I pray that you'll find it in your heart to forgive me. _

_My heart aches every second just thinking of you. It's been two months and I've been staying at the present Order headquarters, trying to track down the remaining Death Eaters. I can't say much more, only that I wish you were here with me._

_With luck it won't take much longer and I'll be back in your arms before we both know it. Be brave ­ all my love, _

_Always & Forever,_

_Draco_

………………………………………………..

In the days after her detention with McGonagal Ginny slowly began retreating back to her former self. So slowly in fact that you wouldn't even be able to tell watching her continue to struggle through her day to day. But it was the little things that Harry, Hermione, Ron, Colin and all the others who loved Ginny, noticed.

Like her apology to Rose for being so snappy, the friendly comment she had made about Hermione's messy up do, and the subtle attempt she made to show up to class on time.

All of these things added up, and little by little the old Ginny was returning. She was still hurting, and it would be a long time before she got fully back to herself again, - unless Draco showed up of course. But she was learning to deal with the pain, instead of bottling it all up.

As Ginny made her way to breakfast that morning however, she was about to get the next best thing. Sitting down at the house table, she glanced across from her to where Ron was sitting. He had been unnaturally sweet lately and Ginny thought vaguely about how she really should be taking advantage of his pity and generosity. Just as she was thinking about how best to approach him for some extra galleons, her attention was caught by a large tawny owl heading straight for her.

Her heart stopped as she watched the owl come closer and closer. She dared not to hope. As the owl landed she could feel all eyes on her as she shakily untied the letter from its leg. Heart pounding, she read the single word written on the top side of the folded paper.

_Ginny_

She could feel their eyes but didn't care. She could feel the lump in her throat and her eyes watering, but she didn't care. Jumping up from her half eaten breakfast she practically ran to her dorm to read her letter.

………………………………………..

"God," Draco said, wincing slightly as the whisky hit his throat. "Not exactly Firewhisky, but it'll do."

"What's that lad?" The round bartended asked cheerfully from behind the counter.

"Nothing," Draco replied, shaking his head, his words slurring slightly, "thanks for the drink."

He had been at the local bar for a mere half hour and had already downed at least a pint of every type of alcohol they could offer. It had been a long time since he had last drank and now he relished the feeling as it numbed his senses and, for a little while at least, lessened the ache in his heart.

He glanced down at his watch and squinting, made out the time, 9:45 pm. Remus had offered to come pick him up at whatever time Draco wanted but he had denied his offer, explaining that tonight was his night and that he wanted to take as much time as he needed, so who new how late he would be. He was a responsible adult, and he could take care of himself, thank you very much. Lupin had only consented after Draco had promised to drink responsibly (yeah, right) and had set the curfew fro three am at the very latest.

But as he looked around at the noisy pub and realized that he had already gotten through the variety of alcohol the bar had the offer, three am seemed a long time away. He could just see it, him wandering in at 10:30 after the speech he had given to Lupin about 'needing time away', probably about to walk in on Lupin and Tonks playing Exploding Snap.

He scoffed, _how pathetic_.

So looking around hopelessly, he turned back yet again to the bar, took a seat and ordered another drink. _It's going to be a long night, _he thought.

As drink after drink went down, he was suddenly aware of a presence beside him and a hand on his shoulder. Turning round he gasped as he saw her face.

Tall and slender, she looked like an angel brought down from heaven. Olive coloured skin and dark brown hair. Full lips with a perfect smile, but her most dazzling feature by far were her eyes. Crystal blue, so light that Draco felt as though he would lose himself if he only stared long enough.

Coughing slightly in an attempt to cover up his gasp of surprise, she simply smiled down at him.

"Can I sit here?" she asked, gesturing to the empty barstool beside him.

"Of, of course!" he stammered.

"Hi," she said cheerfully, sticking out her hand for him to shake. "I'm Rhea."

"Hi," Draco replied, taking her hand. "I'm Draco, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too!" she said, positively glowing in the dimly lit pub. "I saw you from where I was sitting," she gestured behind her to a table where three young girls continued to chat. "You looked kind of down, I though you might like some company."

She smiled and Draco felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.

"Oh," he said, slightly taken aback but pleased nonetheless. "Yeah, thanks. It's just, well…I was just thinking about some stuff."

"I'm all ears," Rhea said. "Spill."

They talked for what seemed like hours, Draco leaving out the minor details about being a wizard and tracking down convicts…talking more about his personal struggle leaving Ginny. He felt unusually comfortable talking to Rhea and he had no idea why. Maybe it was the fact that his brain was so numb he would have felt comfortable enough telling his whole life story to the Prime Minister had he asked.

Whatever it was, he felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders and relief flood through him. When they finally looked up from their conversation, they were two of the last few people remaining, Rhea's friends having left a while back.

When Draco looked back however, his brain finally registered how close he was sitting to Rhea. They had been leaning in towards each other without realizing it and with another little shock, Draco looked down to see Rhea's soft hand lying over his own, gently caressing it. He was drunk, but his senses were still working enough to tell him that something about this wasn't right.

He looked up and their eyes met. Slowly, ever so slowly, their heads tilted and they leaned farther in toward each other. Coming back to his senses at the last moment, Draco quickly coughed and leaned back, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"Listen, Rhea…" he started, but she beat him to it.

"No, it was me, I'm sorry," she said, leaning back and letting go of his hand. "I shouldn't have done that, you're seeing someone."

"Yeah," Draco replied. "Yeah, I am."

They sat there for a few moments in awkward silence before Rhea got up suddenly and declared that it was getting late.

"I really should go," she said. "It's not a far walk but it's dark nonetheless."

"Wait," Draco said. "You're walking? Well, let me walk you home. It's the least I can do; I mean… you did miss your ride for me."

Rhea took a quick glance outside at the dark street and men smoking on the corner.

"Well," she started, "it's no big deal, but I mean if you really don't mind…" she trailed off, giving Draco a grateful smile as he began pulling on his coat.

She was right, it wasn't a far walk but Draco was glad he had come with her; he wouldn't have wanted her to pass some local street gangs they had averted by herself. When they reached her small, but cozy looking house, Draco knew that the alcohol was really getting to him as he stumbled up her steps and subconsciously squeezed her hand that he had somehow come to be holding.

Looking down at her beautiful face, he was reminded of a faint and distant memory. His brain was struggling to tell him something but the message was unclear. Why had he pulled away again?

Her eyes were so bright and she was just so beautiful. This time, when her head tilted forward, he didn't back away, her lips finally settling on his own. He lost all reason and control as her grip on his arm tightened and his lips began to respond.

They shuffled backwards into the house, Rhea pressed against his chest. She kicked the front door closed behind them and Draco effortlessly backed her up against a wall, kicking off both their shoes. Her legs would up around him. Again, this all felt so familiar…but he pushed the nagging feeling aside as he moved down to kiss her neck and her hands began to roam, pulling off his jacket. They held on to each other tightly, kissing furiously until Rhea pushed Draco away and he stood back gasping.

"This way," she whispered breathlessly, as she led him into her bedroom by hand.

Closing the door he watched as she pulled off her jacket and shirt, revealing a lazy black bra. He, in turn, pulled off his shirt, pulling her back in toward him. Her hands were in his hair, roaming his chest to feel his taught muscles. They wrestled furiously for a few moments before knocking over a chair while making their way over to the bed.

Draco gently pushed her down to the mattress before advancing and pulling off her jeans, taking in the beautiful sight of her body. When he was on top of her, both breathing heavily in between long, passionate kisses, Rhea reached over to her bedside lamp and turned it out.

Together in the darkness, she took him away from his thoughts. She was his release, his breath of fresh air.

At least, until morning.


	15. Just tell me why

**A/N: Hey guys! I am so sorry that this chapter took so long, but I've been busy. However, I made it my GOAL to finish another chapter during Spring Break and finally stopped being lazy and typed it all out. So, I hope you enjoy it! Please review because I really do enjoy getting feedback, I really do take the advice to heart and try to improve on anything that you guys comment on. Other than that, I will desperately try to get another chapter in asap! :)**

His head throbbed as he groaned and tried to lift himself up onto his shoulders

His head throbbed as he groaned and tried to lift himself up onto his shoulders. Memories of the night before returned with painful stabs at his consciousness. He had been at the bar, drinking…there had been a girl…Draco stopped. It was all too painful. He realized with a sickening feeling where he was and how he had gotten there, and he hated himself for it. A part of him was still clinging to the hope that this was all a dream, one that he would wake up from at any moment.

It wasn't a dream.

He groaned again, half out of pain, and half out of anguish. He despised himself. He was a selfish, weak bastard who only cared about himself. He didn't deserve to be happy, and he certainly didn't deserve Ginny. How could he have cheated on her, the best thing that had ever happened to him?

The very thought made him sick to his stomach. Wait…literally?

With a sudden jolt, he frantically leaned over the bed and vomited into the wastebasket. He was trembling and sweating.

'I need to get out of here,' he thought wildly.

He struggled to scramble out of the bed and to put on his boxers and jeans. As he hurriedly lifted his clothes into his arms, the bathroom door opened and he turned to see Rhea in the doorway, fully dressed. She smiled when she saw him, undisturbed by his slightly mad image.

"I have to get out of her," he said, breathing heavily. "I've made a terrible mistake."

He turned and reached for the doorknob but his vision was slightly blurry. He had experienced hangovers before, and pretty severe ones too, but this? Something was not right.

Well, a lot of things weren't right about this situation but Draco knew that alcohol alone count not have affected him as severely as this. He looked up at Rhea while trying to keep his balance.

"What did you do to me?" he asked shakily. "I need… to get out of here!"

Though his focus was blurry, and he could barely see straight, he made a lunge for the door. Just as he yanked it open, a thrilling realization went through him.

'My wand!'

The thought barely left his mind when he was hit in the back with a stunning spell.

Lying face down on the floor, unable to move a muscle, he felt Rhea lean over him. She tickled his face with a tip of a wand…not _his _wand, and whispered softly,

"I don't think so baby. I think that you and I need to have a little talk."

Draco's brain couldn't process exactly what was happening to him and he soon gave up trying to fight the spell, allowing his senses to overcome him.

--

"Malini, Rhea!"

Rhea's heat throbbed painfully in her chest as Professor McGonagall called out her name. She inched forward until she was standing in front of the stool, eyes cast down. Slowly, she reached in front of her and took the Sorting Hat in her hands. She quickly pressed it onto her head and waited.

After a breath of a moment…

"Ravenclaw!"

Relief flooded through her. Both of her parents had been in Ravenclaw, Daddy would be especially proud. She returned the Sorting Hat to its stool and took a quick look around her, at all of the smiling faces clapping for her.

She glowed with happiness.

As she made her way to the Ravenclaw table, she spotted the boy who had been sorted just before her. Malfoy, Draco had been sent to the Slytherin table. He saw her looking and caught her eye.

In that one, suspended moment, they both smiled, then looked away. He went back to eating and Rhea sat down at her table.

It wasn't until she realized that she'd been holding her breath, did she exhale and her heart slowed its heartbeat.

--

Rhea didn't know what it was that drew her to him. He was good looking, yes. Athletic, yes. Popular, yes. Smart? Yes! But what about everything else? He was arrogant, snobbish, cocky, and worst of all, he demeaned others. Especially Harry, whom Rhea had nothing against and liked very much.

She despised herself for liking him yet she couldn't rid herself of the feeling. They weren't friends, not really. (how could she have been?) She'd talked to him a few times in some of the classes that they shared, but never more than a few sentences. He'd always been curt with his answers, although never rude. Rhea suspected that the fact that he even acknowledged her was because he knew her blood status: pure blood.

He knew her name at least, and that gave her some hope. He'd returned a book she'd dropped in the hallway once you see, and hadn't even needed to call out the name. To this day, she wondered why he had done it. As far as she knew, he'd never done anything to help anyone else… and for a while she had thought that she was special to him.

Though the small gesture may have gone unnoticed by most people, Rhea had seen the slight red tint in his face as he had returned it. He hadn't meant to be nice…it had just, slipped.

That's what intrigued her most about him. He was like a puzzle, with layers and layers of complex feelings that you just couldn't make out beneath his polished exterior. Oh how she tried to penetrate that barrier, with her eyes alone she often sought him out and made it a game to try and find out how he was actually feeling. She wasn't obsessed…but her impulses always made her look back. Draco Malfoy, he had her and he didn't even know it.

She had a gut feeling deep inside that he wasn't as mean and heartless as he seemed, that it was all an act. And even though she knew there was probably no chance of anything happening between them, she harboured her crush, stowing it away somewhere no one could see it.

But the few times she caught his rare smile? Her resolve to forget about him broke down so fast it was hard to know if it had even been put up in the first place.

Years passed and Rhea's feelings only grew stronger, yet she became better at hiding them and keeping them stowed away, even from herself.

Besides, she had other things to worry about other than Draco Malfoy. Quidditch (she was chaser on the Ravenclaw team), her studies, her family, and most importantly, herself.

She was in her 6th year at Hogwarts, and things hadn't been going so well. Voldemort had returned, her father was constantly working himself to death at the ministry, and her mother was at home, worrying herself sick over her only daughter. Mrs. Malini hadn't wanted Rhea to return to the school at all now that times were so dangerous but Rhea had point blank refused and was determined to have as good a year as possible considering the circumstances.

'This year,' she thought to herself, 'is my year. Self improvement is what I want to strive for.'

Rhea wasn't ugly, nor was she pretty. She was just, plain. She'd never cared for makeup or looking good; she was too busy for artificial things like that. She focused on being healthy and her studies, and with Quidditch training was far more fit and in shape than many of the girls that she knew. She had a nice figure, and pretty features, but she was never one to show them off. She had a good many friends, but didn't really consider herself popular.

This year, she wanted to 'clean up' and maybe experiment with things she hadn't done before. She wasn't exactly a tomboy or anti social either. She wore her hair down, she shaved her legs and she did think of boys in that way… she just wasn't _there _yet, at her prime.

Her year then, started off great. She started wearing makeup, grew out her hair and took a stab at dating. Her circle of friends grew and she really started to become comfortable with her own body and with whom she was turning out to be.

Everything was going great, but she no longer saw _him _anymore. Draco was becoming harder and harder to spot, the only times she saw him was at meals and in classes, yet he always seemed tired and extremely distant, even from across the Great Hall. He didn't flash her anymore of their secret smiles, in fact, he hadn't looked at her once all year, and she hated him for it.

Couldn't he see how beautiful she was becoming? Couldn't he see what she so desperately wanted him to notice?

After a while, Rhea gave up trying to get his attention. She had worked hard for the new her, and she wasn't going to let some guy ruin it for her, especially not Draco Malfoy.

--

Rhea's life turned upside down that year. One moment she was happy, and everything was going right, the next… it was all gone.

Her father had been killed.

In a surprise attack by the Death Eaters, he father had been hit with the Avada Kedavra curse while on a mission for the ministry. He was a ministry official, there was no doubt why they'd attacked. It was only after Rhea had been taken out of Hogwarts by her mother did she find out who had killed her father.

The news hit her hard and sobs racked her heart, every fiber of her being. She swore that she would avenge her late father.

Lucius Malfoy would be on the receiving end.

--

Lights popped on and off in front of his eyes.

'This is really getting to be too much,' Draco thought. 'I just want it all to stop.'

**A/N: I know what you're thinking. Karma my friend, karma. But I still love him :) **

He opened his eyes slowly and blinked, trying to get everything back in focus. He was in the same room, half dressed and… tied to a chair.

He looked down and saw that his arms and legs were bound tightly. He wasn't gagged and could look around freely. He froze when he came upon Rhea, sitting on the bed reading The Daily Prophet. She must have sensed him glaring because she peeked over the paper and when she saw that he was awake, silently folded it and set it aside.

"Ah, you're awake!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

Draco coughed, not fully trusting himself to speak. He still felt sluggish, but not as bad as before. His throat hurt and his voice came out raspy.

"Who are you?" he asked hoarsely.

Rhea regarded him coolly for a moment before answering, and Draco could have sworn that a hurt look crossed her features.

"Wow," she said sarcastically, her voice brittle. "I know you were drunk last night, and that today you're recovering from the drugs that I gave you, but honestly Draco, are guys really that shallow or is that just you?"

He was too stunned to speak. Did he know her? Wait, she'd _drugged him? _

Relief flooded him for a moment as he considered the possibility that it hadn't been all him as he'd crawled into her bed, that he wasn't such a bad guy after all. Then Ginny's face swam into view and he visibly shrank from the shame of his actions once again.

He regained his composure and looked back up at Rhea, who was watching him closely. He shook his head.

"No," he said. "I don't know who you are. And I'm not shallow," he added, almost as an afterthought.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, obviously disappointed. "Why would you," she said icily, "the last time you looked at me I didn't look anything like I do now."

Draco frowned, confused. Rhea was obviously getting impatient with him.

"Uh! You're such a, a jerk!" she yelled, at a lack for a more colourful word.

"I spent 6 years dogging for you Draco, and you never noticed! You were such an ass, and yet I still thought that there was some good in you. Maybe this will jog your memory. 3rd year, I had just watched Hermione Granger punch you and your nose was bleeding. Your idiot friends had already run off and you didn't know the spell to stop the flow. I saw you struggling to clean up the blood when –"

"When you came out from behind the pillar, scared me half to death and fixed my nose with that stupid spell I couldn't remember," Draco cut her off, suddenly remembering. "I was so mad; I made you swear that you wouldn't tell anyone what you'd seen. You practically ran away from me.

"Rhea," he repeated softly, more to himself than to her. "You were sorted right after me…Malini? And every time I saw you, you always smiled at me so I just, well …"

"Smiled." Rhea finished for him. "You always smiled back," she said softly, looking right at him.

"I fell for you the moment I saw you, I made every excuse to be near you, to talk to you, and yet it was never enough." She looked sad.

"Yeah, well…I was a jerk, like you said. I didn't care about anyone except myself, always caught up in my own thoughts." Draco mumbled, not knowing exactly what to say. I mean, here was a girl who had supposedly had a crush on him for 6 years, and had then proceeded to drugging him and tying him up. Some way to show your affection, he though savagely.

"You made an exception for Ginny," she said, so quietly that Draco almost couldn't hear. He decided to ignore the comment, pretending that he hadn't heard.

"You were on the Quidditch team, weren't you? Ravenclaw right?"

Rhea smiled slightly, but it was still sad.

"So I wasn't completely invisible after all," she said.

"You look different," Draco stammered.

Even after he had been drugged, and had just cheated on his girlfriend with this woman, he couldn't help but admit that she was beautiful, and to be astonished at this turn of events. Then he came back to reality and felt his anger and frustration build up.

"But why are you doing this to me?" he demanded angrily. "I'm sorry that I didn't notice you more at school, but what the hell is going on here?"

Rhea glared at him steadily and any affection that she had had for him was lost. It was time for business. Draco squirmed under her gaze.

"We both know there's more to it than that," she said quietly.

"What then?" he demanded, getting really angry now. She had no right to do this to him, not after all that he had been through. He was done getting screwed over.

"You intoxicated me, led me here under false pretences, practically forced me to spend the night with you-"

"Spare me the lecture Draco," Rhea snapped, cutting in. "I know what I did, I know what I'm doing and I for one, can justify my actions. You, on the other hand, didn't seem so reluctant shoving your tongue down my throat. If you must know, all I had planned was to lead you here and feed you another dose to knock you out. Thanks to you though, my night was a little more interesting. What can I say?" she teased, leaning in towards him, their faces inches apart.

"You're great in bed, even when you're half out of it." She smirked. "Ginny's a lucky girl."

Draco felt tears sting his eyes and he looked down. He had no way to tell if she was telling the truth or not…but he remembered last night and how he had longed for the affection. She was right; he was going to have to live with what he'd done.

When he could finally look up again, she had reseated herself on the bed.

"Just tell me why I'm here," he said in a hollow voice, a sob choked in his throat.

"You're here because of your father," she replied, hate etched in every word.

"I am not my father," Draco growled indignantly. "And whatever he did to you, I had nothing to do with it."

"Somehow," she said, her voice hard. "I doubt that. I mean, you did let all of those Death Eaters into Hogwarts, you let Snape kill Dumbledore, and let's not forget trying to become Voldemort's new pet. The way I see it, the world would be better off without you, Ginny as well."

"You don't understand," Draco pleaded, slightly panicked. The need to prove himself intensified. "I didn't want to do, any of that stuff! I know what I did was wrong, I tried to kill myself over it. I know that I can't make up for all the people that I hurt but I have changed, you have to believe me!"

"How am I supposed to trust you?!" Rhea practically screamed, hysterical.

"Lucius killed my father Draco, in cold blood! My father did nothing, NOTHING wrong, and he was killed. And it was YOUR father who killed him! And you didn't give a shit, or even notice when I left Hogwarts!"

Draco was too stunned to speak. What could he say to make her understand that he was not responsible for his father's actions? How could he make up for all of those years ignoring her?

"I'm sorry," was all that he could say.

"You don't understand," Rhea continued, tears streaming down her face as she paced in front of him. "Do you have any idea what it feels like; losing someone you really love, for no good reason? And it had to be your father, of all people! My mother is a wreck, and it's been nearly a year. She hardly gets out of bed, and it's MY responsibility to look after her. I can't leave her, and I can't return to Hogwarts. After all you've done, you're still back at school, no worries about money, you have Ginny, you have your education, you have your LIFE back! Me, I'm stuck here, alone. No school, no family, nothing! Because of you and your family, my whole life has been ruined!"

She started to sob and Draco could say nothing. He understood was it felt like to need revenge… and with his father gone Draco was the only one Rhea could get back at. And unintentionally or not, he had hurt her as well.

"Rhea, listen," he pleaded. "I can't stay here. There are people looking for me, there are Death Eater's on the loose, Ginny is waiting for me! Just tell me what you want, what you need, and I'll try my hardest to give it to you. I'm sorry for what's happened to you, but I can't change the past."

She looked up at him through tear stained eyes.

"I want my father back," she said through gritted teeth. "I want my life back!"

They looked at one another for a moment before Draco spoke again.

"We both know this isn't the way you'll get your life back," he said softly.

She looked at him briefly, then lay her head down and sob. After a few minutes, she gathered herself and without a word flicked her wand and freed Draco from his bindings.

"Go," she said, not looking at him. "I'm sorry," she sobbed, stammering. "Turn me over, I don't care. I have nothing left to lose."

Draco got up, rubbing his wrists. But instead of moving towards the door, he moved closer to her and sat with her on the bed, holding her gently as she cried into his chest. When she had calmed down, they talked for a long time.

She told him how she really did live there and although she was too young to work and hadn't finished her education, she worked for her aunt's witch salon not too far from there to support her mother. She told Draco that her mother lived alone in a small town and that Rhea hadn't been able to find a job in that area to stay closer to her. She told him how she frequently visited the pub she had found him in and that when she'd seen him, all of her anger, frustration and hopelessness had propelled her to act as irrationally as she had.

She had excelled in Potions while she had been at school and when she wasn't working she often made potions as a hobby, hoping to get a job as a medi witch in the near future. She kept some of them for emergencies and sometimes used some of them in her aunt's salon. She admitted to using a diluted version of Veritaserum, a small dose of a lust/love potion (although enough to influence a part of his behaviour, she assured him), and of course the potion meant to knock Draco out and keep him unconscious. (She had only fed him that dose the next morning; he had been drunk enough the night before that he hadn't needed it).

Although the whole situation was extremely frustrating for Draco, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. He knew what it felt like when you thought you had run out of options when everything seemed hopeless and you no longer cared about the consequences.

Before he left, Rhea apologized again for 'taking advantage of him', she was truly sorry and felt guilty about possibly ruining things for him and Ginny, especially after Draco had poured his heart out to her in the pub. Draco winced. He had no idea how he was going to tell Ginny about all of this… or Remus who was sure to kill him the moment he saw him.

Instead he said, "I'm sorry about your father, and about everything else. But maybe we can put it all behind us and, I don't know…" His voice died out. He wasn't sure whether they could ever be friends… but he didn't rule it out, for her sake and when he looked at her, she looked almost hopeful but didn't expect him to finish his sentence.

He opened the front door to leave and looked back when he felt her hand on his arm.

"Draco," she said softly, sadness etched in every line of her face. She looked distraught. Her eyes were red and her body sagged with the invisible weight of stress and depression. She looked a million years away from the radiant young woman he had seen last night.

"I'm really sorry, about everything. But in a way…" she seemed to lose her confidence, than regained it and quickly went on. "I had to, you know? For me, for my mother, I couldn't just do nothing. I swore when Dadddy died that I'd…losing him was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. It's just been so hard, you understand don't you?"

She looked so defeated that Draco couldn't help himself. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "You'll be okay," he whispered. "I know you will."

He didn't know if he was saying that to comfort her, or himself.

With that, he turned abruptly and left Rhea crying silently on her doorstep.

--

"DRACO! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! YOU HAVE SOME NERVE, AND SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!"

Draco sighed. He knew that this would be coming.

Lupin was livid. I mean, wolfish livid. As soon as he had seen that Draco was in no harm, Draco had reason to actually be a bit frightened. It was just coming up to 11 a.m. and Remus did have a good reason to be angry, and worried. In the past few weeks that Draco had been with him, they had developed a kind of father/son relationship. But more on that later.

"Do you have any idea what we've been going through here?" Lupin demanded. "I said 3 a.m.! 3 A.M.! Do you even know what a curfew is?! I sent out people to search for you, we've been up all night-"

"Remus," Draco cut in. "I know, and I'm sorry. But you have no idea what I've been through."

As soon as Remus had calmed down a bit, Draco sat him down and told him everything…leaving out minor details and claiming that he had been unconscious the entire night. Ahem.

Lupin was so shocked that for a minute, he could barely speak. When he could at last form words, the first thing he said hit Draco where it hurt, right in the ego.

"Is it really that easy to kidnap you?" he asked incredulously.

Draco didn't speak, just looked down at his shoes. Remus sighed.

"Thank Merlin she didn't decide to permanently disable you," he said, smiling slightly. "Then we would've had a problem. On the other hand, if she's that gifted at making Potions and is looking for a more rewarding career than at her aunt's salon…I wonder if she would consider working with us. A young witch, someone the Death Eater's don't recognize…it would be dangerous yes, but you said yourself that she has nothing left to lose…" and so it went, Remus talking more to himself than to Draco.

Draco smiled slightly but his heart still hurt. He may not have been himself completely but last night, his actions had definitely spoken louder than words. He hung his head as Lupin went to summon the other who had gone out looking for him. What was he going to do? What _could _he do?


End file.
